Question: The 'Hole Truth...

[wolfhound227]

What are some of the items you've found durring cavity searches?
What's the biggest?
What's the weirdest?
What's the most?

I'm so bored.

This topic came up on my last ride-along and I got a story from one of the guys who'd been out at the county lockup and while they were searching a guy they found seven cigarretts wrapped in tin foil ( let let him keep them) crowning out of his 'chute.

[wolfhound227]

Oh...and for God's sake NO PICTURES!

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by wolfhound227
Oh...and for God's sake NO PICTURES!

Dammit, Hound! <<putting albums away>>

Biggest? 2 golf balls. (guess the guy was really "anal" about his short game!)

Weirdest? A toothbrush. (My response, "Okay, wrong kinda cavity, dude." He wasn't amused.)

[HmtPD]

I searched a GUY once in the field. While I searched him, it sounded as if there was a pager going off on vibrate mode. Yup, you guessed it, he had a vibrating dildo in his ----------! Gotta luv tweekers! He was white, the "item" was of African American decent.

[DCH]

LMAO!!

[Trigger1]

This brings up a good point, If most people knew where the majority of drugs are stored prior to being sold, they would never try them.

"yo I got what you want, you want a 20?"
"Ya I need it man, but I only got a 5, how much if it has fresh scrotum cheese or ass candy on it?"
"no that kinda quality shit is free with me, let me just dig it out"

Oh man so does the sweat, cheese, shit, etc improve the flavor or the effect?

[mdb23]

The absolute worst part of the deal is knowing where the money that you have in your wallet might have once been.

It is not uncommon for females to hide "the benjamins" WAY up in their naughty bits. A female officer once told me a story about a search she conducted where the suspect told her that " she had some money on her" that the officer had missed during the search.

Knowing that the suspect didn't have any weapons on her, the officer told her to place the money along with all of her other property. The female proceeded to hike her leg up on a table (she had on a dress) and "start digging" for the money. The really sick part is that the suspect first pulled out a large wad of paper towels, which she stated "kept everything else in." The officer almost got sick as the suspect produced wad after wad of crumpled up money.

Think about it, those bills eventually made it back into circulation...........................

Remember that the next time you handle your cash.

:rolleyes:

mdb23

[1026]

Originally posted by mdb23
The absolute worst part of the deal is knowing where the money that you have in your wallet might have once been.

Think about it, those bills eventually made it back into circulation...........................

Remember that the next time you handle your cash.

:rolleyes:

mdb23

And to think people worry that money might have cocaine residue on it..........

[wolfhound227]

Originally posted by mdb23
The absolute worst part of the deal is knowing where the money that you have in your wallet might have once been.

It is not uncommon for females to hide "the benjamins" WAY up in their naughty bits. A female officer once told me a story about a search she conducted where the suspect told her that " she had some money on her" that the officer had missed during the search.

Knowing that the suspect didn't have any weapons on her, the officer told her to place the money along with all of her other property. The female proceeded to hike her leg up on a table (she had on a dress) and "start digging" for the money. The really sick part is that the suspect first pulled out a large wad of paper towels, which she stated "kept everything else in." The officer almost got sick as the suspect produced wad after wad of crumpled up money.

Think about it, those bills eventually made it back into circulation...........................

Remember that the next time you handle your cash.

:rolleyes:

mdb23


I sense a new anti-drug commercial.

"Hey man, this is some good shit!"

[MrPotatoHead]

Had a chick that when she was given the old "Squat and cough" command, by a female CO, netted the following haul from her "Auxiliary purse:"

$857.00 in 20's and lower
3 tubes of lipstick
8 rocks of crack cocaine
4 metal crack pipes
Other assorted drug paraphernalia
Carmex
1 8x5 address book (How the hell that got in there I'll never know, let alone got out)
assorted mail held together with rubber bands
3 syringes, 2 of which were loaded.
Other miscellaneous junk

All this and she was in a "Delicate" stage.

Being curious, we weighed all the stuff she had been hiding. 8 lbs of bloody, soggy, mess.

Now I'm not normally the queasy type but when the CO took this lovely example of humanity from the changing room at jail, and presented me with the haul from this fine bit of police investigation, I was thanking my lucky stars I had not eaten yet. I think I had the heaves the rest of that shift and couldn't eat for quite a while.

[mdb23]

Originally posted by MrPotatoHead

Being curious, we weighed all the stuff she had been hiding. 8 lbs of bloody, soggy, mess.



Did you personally have to recover that "haul," or does your department have detention officers who recover all property/ book arrests?

If I had to recover that sh*t, I would seriously consider quitting on the spot. Sorry, here are my badge and ID, I have just found my breaking point........ Seriously, we don't make nearly enough for what we do, and we sure as hell don't make enough to do that!

Sadly enough, I have heard far worse stories of human indecency.................

mdb23

[BRC]

This just happened 2 weeks ago. My team mates handle a call of a stabbing victim. When we show up the EMT people are looking for the source of the blood stain and as usual the "victim" is not very cooperative. Well ends up that crackhead Bob here has decided to keep his glass rock pipe keestered during which he came upon some type of a stressful situation and shattered it. Needless to say he was arrested for UI and possession of paraphernalia. By the way his girlfriend was also there and confirmed that this was normal practice for this wingnut.

BRC

[i8547]

The attached photos were supplied by our Indiana [CID] Chapter. These photos are of a "butt plug" containing various tools and weapons that was secreted in a "certain" spot by an inmate in Indiana. By the name, you're imagination should figure out where the inmate secreted the object. This is just another illustration of how important it is for officers to conduct proper searches when taking people into custody.


2nd photo attached in next post.

[i8547]

... courtesy of Sharky.

[Sharky]

Thanks Jeff!

[WS-G]

Originally posted by mdb23
The absolute worst part of the deal is knowing where the money that you have in your wallet might have once been.... (this line preserved for posterity sake, all else clipped for brevity... and emphasis of this! — WMS)

[snippage occurred here]

Think about it, those bills eventually made it back into circulation...........................Ever notice how those signs saying "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work" are curiously absent from the cash registers at the front counters of all those fast-food places?

Yep! The hand can go from cash drawer to food to cash drawer to food ad infinitum in an unwashed state.

Cr-cr-crack, Cr-cr-crack, Cr-cr-crack,
Crack in the Box!
Now you're cookin' crack!"

(sung to tune of 1977 Jack in the Box advertising jingle)

[mdb23]

Originally posted by Jeff Rambo
... courtesy of Sharky.

Good thing that bastard didn't blow ass............. it would have been like a damned claymore going off.

mdb23

[wolfhound227]

Originally posted by Jeff Rambo
... courtesy of Sharky.


What? No golf clubs?

[MrPotatoHead]

Originally posted by mdb23


Did you personally have to recover that "haul," or does your department have detention officers who recover all property/ book arrests?

If I had to recover that sh*t, I would seriously consider quitting on the spot. Sorry, here are my badge and ID, I have just found my breaking point........ Seriously, we don't make nearly enough for what we do, and we sure as hell don't make enough to do that!

Sadly enough, I have heard far worse stories of human indecency.................

mdb23

Thank god NO! I would have to quit as well. We had a female officer search her in the field and she found a rock in a pocket. When we booked her, we requested she be changed out into jail garb immediately. When the female C/O was searching her prior to this, she felt a lump. She took her into the changing room and had her squat and cough. Junk kept falling out.

[mdb23]

I knew that you didn't have to go "fishing" for the goods..... I was wondering if, after the female CO produced the lot, you were forced to inventory/recover the proerty for safekeeping in an evidence locker.

I hope the answer is no.

[MrPotatoHead]

Yup....had to tag all the "STUFF" into evidence. Marked it all "BIOHAZZARD" too.