North Hollywood firefight & it's impact on Law Enforcement

[PO BONG]

As most you know what happen in this fierce gun battle like a hollywood movie. But this time I am not making any crap. I have read a lot of reports and stories realted to this gunfight. First, what kind of body amour were the two guys wearing that the the cops hand guns ( Mostly 9mm Bereeta or any kind of Hand gun or caliber) couldn't knock the two guys down and punch through their body amour(The hand gun rounds hit the body amour and fell to the ground! how can you believed that!if anyone don't believe me , see the SWAT 2 Game instruction maual on the chapter on North Hollywood Gun battle), and why didn't the first responding cops take head shots right in the first place? Second, why didn't the SWAT cops use snipers to deploy on roof or helicopters to take those two guys out? That would be a safer option than a group of SWAT COPS drive their patrol car and confront the perp directly. I want to know if the SWAT cops seen taking the second robber were using what kind of Carbines or Assualt Rifles? M4 CARBINE or the early CAR-15 MODELS use by the team. Thirdly, I saw on the news that some LAPD Dectetive had a HK G41 on the trunk of his car, and it claimed that if many LAPD cops follow his way that could have save the situation that day! What do you LE guys think? Yes, after this notorious firefight, LAPD and other agencies had issued ASSUALT RIFLES or Short Carbines to cops to boost their fire power and to pervent officers had to go to a gunshop and " Borrow" Assualt rifles and anti body amour rounds during a gunfight.( LAPD COPS did the same thing that day) I give an example of similar kind of case. In HONG KONG which is my home city, during 1992 there were several large jewellery shop robberies and gunfights and the our cops were even lightly armed( with 0.38 Revovlers and Remington Shotguns)to face the situation! The bandits were armed with AK47'S, SHOTGUNS,PISTOLS( and Bullets that can even punch through the cops body amour even the ones SDU wears!) and even HAND GRENADES! Same as the LAPD, our cops called the SDU( THE SWAT TEAM OF HONG KONG POLICE)to deal with them because they are the only ones that have the fire power to deal with them!( SDU HAVE MP5'S, HK53'S, M16'S, CAR15'S Shotguns and Sniper rifles!) One SDU Cop even claimed that the bandits they deal with are many times powerful than the two gunman in North Hollywood! But I am sure The HKPD is ready for a situation like the one in North Hollywood. Today, nearly all the police vans in HKPD have weapons, Single shot MP5'S models, body amour that can stop AK47 Bullets and even Keavlar Helmets to protect the COPS in gunfights. And the HKPD were the first ones to introduce this kind of armoury in Police vechiles(it was in 1996) before the LAPD did!
But one thing for sure is that the North Hollywood fire fight have a huge impact on law enforcement agencies any where. And here is a website about it: www.student.oulu.fi/~nmikkola/shootout.html (http://www.student.oulu.fi/~nmikkola/shootout.html)

[wolfhound227]

If you don't want to "Take any crap" then why would you ask why the first officers on the scene did'nt take head shots?

Sierra 1 will be right with you.

[tactical]

POBong, you have a grasp of the obvious! Seriously learn what a paragraph break is.

The LA shooting is reported in a fairly true fashion. The fact the HK PD had assault rifles before means nothing. Most third world countries have the police armed as if they were military units. I was down in Mexico City, on a foreign murder prosecution, and guys with M16's were on at every intersection, but they were hardly better trained then LAPD.

Generally we only arm our officers in what we can train them in. Dont mistake guns for being trained. You show your lack of training by not beleaving rounds can just fall to the ground when they hit something. What do you expect, the bad guy to fly through the air?

Enough said.

Mike Miller

[Skip]

Guys, it is important not to over believe in equipment. Just because a SWAT team carries HK-53s or even G3s, doesn't mean a suspect will go down.

The bullet has to strike the target.

Fully auto weapons are not necessarily the answer either, no British police team has access to auto weapons.

During WWII, SOE was trained to hit targets the size of an orange at 20 metres in under 3 seconds. Draw to a target down in that time is very good. That, I believe was the same standard achieved by the Shangi Flying Squad - the people who developed most of the CQB techniques today. Sykes and Fabarian became seconded to SOE after they retired to Britain from Shangai.

I would say the answer to the Hollywood situation would be to train cops to a very high standard (at least 80%) with a pistol.

This is a hard standard to achieve and requires a lot of time on the range and a lot of expense, but it will pay dividends. At the end of the day, the equipment you are issued with is not the best, it's simply the most eccomonic.

Body armour can be an excuse (I'm not judgeing as I wasn't there) - but a tripple tap will take a suspect out. Body armour will stop a round, but you still fall. Especially with two rounds in the chest and one in the head, or groin.

[Kiddo]

I've talked to a couple of cops, and if they are any indication of most police, the responding officers didn't much care about using their pistols except to qualify every 6 months or so. So they probably didn't spend enough time on the range to become good enough to shoot someone in the head in a gunfight.

And the reason the baddies didn't get knocked down when hit by the bullets is that Kevlar is designed to absorb the shock of a bullet, and the laws of physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. That means that getting shot does not mean that you get knocked down, unless you are shot in the nervous system. If a bullet hits a 200 lb. man and knocks him down, even if the bullet doesn't hit him in the central nervous system, then by necessity the recoil of the bullet would knock down the 200 lb. person firing the weapon. Action- person getting knocked to the ground by bullet. Equal and opposite reaction- shooter getting knocked down by recoil.

[RECON5]

I will not ask you to take any crap, but if you want to know why the "average patrol officer" (LAPD's are better trained than most) did not attempt a head shot, have one of your buddies shoot back at you while you try it. It ain't the movies or punching paper at the range. This is something that requires (for some people) being involved in a shooting incident to understand. And yes.........I have been involved in 3.

The rest is academics....as far as you would be concerned.

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REMEMBER 1*

[This message has been edited by RECON5 (edited 11-26-2000).]

[NMBR5ML]

Originally posted by PO BONG:
if anyone don't believe me , see the SWAT 2 Game instruction maual...

http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif

[Swat1]

nevermind....

[PO BONG]

Just to verify the website of North Hollywood gun fight again
It is www.student.oulu.fi/~hmikkola/shootout.html (http://www.student.oulu.fi/~hmikkola/shootout.html)
Sorry if any of you got into a blank page.

[HmtPD2]

I did not read all of the posts above, so if anyone mentioned it earlier....sorry.
It was not that the dirt bags were not being hit, in fact I believe each one had 10-15 gunshot wounds when it was over. They were also found to have a high doses of phenobarbitol in their system, which pretty much dulls pain. You also asked above why they did not take head shots. Well, the one that shot himself at the end on the side of the street was hit in the base of the head at almost the same time he shot himself, by an officer that made that one, concentrated shot. These guys were walking around, running, and spraying accurate .308 fire in all directions. These guys were well out of range of any Beretta shots, not to mention head shots on a moving target.
You also asked why they didnt employ the snipers? Well, Im sure they were on their way. In the US, our snipers arent posted throughout the city ready for action 24-7. Another thing...I don't think putting a sniper in a hovering helo would have been a good idea in that case. .308's do amazing things to aircraft. These things take time to employ.
The reason the "first" officers didnt take head shots is because they were in the process of having their car turned into swiss cheese with no where to go!
So I guess...as you said...if this happened in Hong Kong the SDU would be on scene in seconds anywhere in the city and just walk in and neutralize the threat.
Another thing...I HIGHLY doubt HKPD was the first to use bullet resistant armor in their vehicles in 96. Hell, the US probably gave HKPD the vehicles. Oh, by the way. You have probably never worn armor that can stop a .308 round...but it is very heavy and you pretty much get KNOCKED ON YOUR BUTT when you get hit. You dont just walk into the fire fight with bullets bouncing off of your chest. Of course you wouldnt know that would you.
Now that I think about it....I dont know of any depts that are lining up to train with SDU.
You seem to have a rather arogant attitude for.....what....a college student. I can easily tell you have never been in a life and death confrontation. You seem to have a view of the world that it all goes according to plan.
You will see that the majority of us comment on specific topics that we have knowledge in...or we may comment jokingly in othe areas. You seem to be a jack of all trades and a master of none!!!
Its because of people like you that other sites have passwords. It seems as if you copy your post directly out of guns and ammo of Soldier of Fiction....I mean Fortune.

I will say one more thing...At least in the U.S. we have the ability to go to a gun store and "borrow" guns if we need them. Not take away our peoples right to bear arms and rely on the government for protection!!!!


R. Steht
Sgt/ USMC
0331/8152/ 8154
Police Officer

[Specialist]

After this LAPD bought M-16's, 223 is not an affective cartridge against heavy body armor. THey need 12 gauges with slugs!

[Skip]

Other options may be flashbangs or other non lethal weapons in sqad cars - what are your opinions?

Would that have had any affect on suspects (?) who were druged up to their eye balls?

[bd]

Specialist,

...oh hell, nevermind.

BD

[HmtPD2]

Lets see......REAL BULLETS didnt stop them...STOP!!!!! or we'll be forced to shoot you with a bean bag!!!!
Flash bangs dont have much effect outside.

It was a bad situation that was handled rather well if you ask me. They contained two drug addicts with automatic weapons using pistols and shotguns.

If grasshoppers carried machine guns, would birds still eat them???

The fact is supplying every officer with an Automatic weapon is VERY expensive, and probably a little unnecessary. If we had the means to do it, I would be for it totally. I carry a dept issued M-16A1 in my unit.

Shotgun slugs vs 223 rounds, well thats a totally different subject.

[wolfhound227]

Grasshoppers with machine guns?LMFAO!!

Actually,I could go for a grasshopper right now....

[dsumner]

Have they ever considerd picking up government surplus M-16s?

[Skip]

Ok - if squad cars can carry shotguns, why not carry a few Haton rounds. Unsure what you call these in the states, but basicially a solid metal round for taking out doors.

There also great for taking out tyres - work every time (according to my friend).

I wounder how they'd work on body armour?

However point taken - we only got very limited info on the shootout here and I shot my mouth off a little, sorry guys no disrespect intended.

[Terry Jones]

From what I understand (hazy memory, sorry) LA picked up some gov. surplus M16A1s for supervisors and Sgt's trunks.

[jnc36rcpd]

LAPD did start issuing surplus M16's after North Hollywood. I believe they went to supervisors and Metropolitan Division platoons. They also authorized the .45 S&W pistol if purchased by the officer (though I doubt .45 rounds would have made a difference in North Hollywood).

Skip, most U.S. police agencies restrict flash-bangs to tactical units. The bad guys were at some distance from officers for most of this incident which might have prevented effective deployment of the devices. Other than flash-bangs (oh, excuse me, I meant to say light-sound distraction devices), there are not any less-lethals in the U.S. armory that would have been applicable.

Police magazine (www.policemag.com) had an article on this incident several years ago. You might want to check their website for a more detailed review of the incident.

Be safe.

[Swat1]

jnc36rcpd said

"Skip, most U.S. police agencies restrict flash-bangs to tactical units. The bad guys were at some distance from officers for most of this incident which might have prevented effective deployment of the devices. Other than flash-bangs (oh, excuse me, I meant to say light-sound distraction devices), there are not any less-lethals in the U.S. armory that would have been applicable."

You mean a SWAT Rock?

Swat1*

[PO BONG]

I agree on what HMTPD siad on the snipers, they do take time to deploy and most probably that the Assulters arrive before the snipers on that day. Not all two perps were carrying AK-47'S, one of the guy was carrying a G3 type rifle with a stock that can be retrcated.
But one of the repliers said that the M16 and 223 bullets are not effevtive aginst body amour, then why did LAPD and nearly every department issue these .223 rifles? One person said that Shotgun with slugs are another choice for 223 rifles in that kind situation, why? Did the LAPD COPS try their shotguns that day? what weapon is the best choice for the situation like this?
And I forgotten to said that the HK SDU also have the training to deal with the perps like the ones in NORTH HOLLYWOOD or the ones in 92.In the NORTH HOLLYWOOD incident, it is become clear that rapid development was a issue for SWAT TEAMS everywhere. Also you people can have a go in look at the website I provided, it is a pretty detail one. And My lat word is that the LAPD officers who fought in the gunfight that day did their best despite the difficult situation, no matter they were SWAT COPS or not.

[jnc36rcpd]

I was at an HK school a couple months ago. Two instructors from the county police were a couple rows behind me. One county instructor (retired off another agency SWAT team) was whispering to his cohort that "Tactical entry techniques are really a science", just as the HK instructor suggested that sending a brick through a window is often the best distraction technique.

If any of you need a SWAT Brick,please forward $250 to me (I hate to charge so much, but liability is a concern). You will receive a black brick with Velcro to attach appropriate identification tabs to.

Be safe.

[Sharky]

LMFAO..... but, seriously folks, I too am a retailer of SWAT bricks, however, I will only charge you $200.00 each. To further top his offer I will throw in 10 SWAT rocks (non-reflective black) that can be used in conjunction with the SWAT bricks, FOR FREE! Just think, you can be the first SWAT wannabe on your block to own a genuine SWAT brick!

jnc, sorry, couldn't resist.

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F.I.D.O.

[dsumner]

Gent's I say you market all of the above items for sale to the government. That way we have to use the bidding process.

They should be sold for no less than say $1000 for 10 rocks, or 2 bricks,and lets not forget the onsite training you and your highly trained staff of instructors will provide for a small addtional cost.

Or the bi-annual refresher training. You could evan release promotional videos. and give away free samples at SWAT round up.

Hell, I'll be glad to write up the add you could place in all the police and security magazines, and be your rep in the SE region.



[This message has been edited by dsumner (edited 11-29-2000).]

[HmtPD2]

I really do not think slugs would have had the effect that PO BONG believes they would have, considering they were being hit with rounds already with no effect.
Also, 223 rounds have tremendous effect on armor, however, if you are wearing an entry vest with plates designed for 308 impacts, 223's probably would not penetrate (Simple Physics)
I believe that this situation is something all SWAT teams attempt to be ready for.
But....none of us could ever stand up to the HKPD SDU. Why didnt LAPD call for the SDU, could they have made it to LA in time?
I bow in humble reverence.

What type of work do you do, and what type of training do you have regarding this area? Or do you just copy all of this from a book?
In all of my time in a Security Force SRT, and in Law Enforcement, I dont believe I have ever heard of SDU as being a force to be reckoned with. You pretty much describe them as the best kept SWAT secret in the world.
Just curious. I encourage people to test peoples qualifications. If you are just interested in this area, vs. are you an SDU member. Not that the internet is perfect, but it is nice to know who you at least claim to be.

R. Steht
Sgt./ USMC
0331/ 8152/ 8154
Police Officer

[Paintman]

Don't forget the special compressed-air SWAT brick Renegade Launcher (TM)! A minature cannon with wheels. Also fires multiple SWAT rocks for a shotgun-like effect. Lifetime warrenty.

[Paintman]

Price: $50,000 and your firstborn son.

(Rumplestiltskin payment plan)



Whoee, I'm nuts today. Need lay off that friggin' good coffee. Wee...

[ANACONDA]

DON'T FORGET THE SPECIALIZED TACTICAL TRANSPORT UNIT (SHOPPING-CART) SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO CARRY THE AFOREMANTIONED ITEMS AS WELL AS ADDITIONAL TACTICAL GEAR.
THEY COME IN VARIED COLOR SCHEMES:
1.)WOODLAND CAMO
2.)TIGER-STRIPE CAMO
3.)REAL-TREE
4.)DESERT
5.)RADAR-RESISTANT BLACK

[jnc36rcpd]

I looked at Samuel Katz's "Ilustrated Guide to the World's Top Counter-Terrorist Forces" published in 1995 (and printed in Hong Kong as I just discovered). If you believe Katz, Hong Kong SDU was a 100 operator unit with fairly extensive responsibilities. Their primary arms were the Browning pistol and the MP5. Their operations were pretty secretive, but they did deploy for criminal work as well as terrorist activity. This information is,of course, taken from a public source and somewhat dated.

If PO BONG is a member of the SDU or associated with the unit, I hope he or she can bring us up to speed.

Be safe.

[jnc36rcpd]

Forget these SWAT bricks the imitation sells. They do not have mounts for Surefire lights the way mine do. I'll get you a really good price.

Trust me.

[Sharky]

ROTMFFLMFAO.......^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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F.I.D.O.

[dsumner]

Well gents I plan on suing all of you producing fakes. I'm going to request a patent on the SWAT rock, but I'll be willing to sell a franchise (which of course must be restricted to LE or military personnel only) to anyone willing to be a dealer.

Yes you to can have a chance to own the one and only SWAT Rock. Remember 1* so take them out with the SWAT Rock.

Also available: the Red Rock (TM) for use whaen training. It's so close to real, it's scary.

[wolfhound227]

Oh yeah?
Well then I'm going to sell "Replica-SWAT-Bricks".Made out of...brick.And I'll also sell foam bricks for "Training".

Dominique,you should sell advertising on one side of your tactical-entry-ceramics.
You could get business from local glass companies and bail bondsmen.

[dsumner]

Hey Wolf, Check your e-mail.

[ski]

Before you all go bursting your SWAT budgets on these SWAT-bricks, let me introduce you to the Urban Tactical Fragmentation Device. Don't let the fact that it looks like a forty ounce beer bottle and has "King Cobra Malt Liquor" lable on it detract from it's usefulness in a tactical situation. Also, other products in my line of gear for the most modern tactcal team include the Soft Vehicle Blockade (again don't let the ripped "Serta Mattress Company" label mislead you), the Hard Vehicle Blockade (looks kind of like a trash dumpster), and the Self Powered Urban Aromatic Destraction Device with optional OC dispenser(battery operated Crown Royal Air freshener) which can be seen in use in urban vehicle appplications all over the country. Don't let your tactical team be left out!!! Order today! Call First Assualt Response Team (F.A.R.T.)Products, Inc. at 1-800-WHAT-DAT-NOISE-BE. CALL NOW! We also have F.A.R.T. Inc, T-shirts and ballcaps available. If you call today,we will include an actual amatuer porn video siezed during a real search warrant service! (Don't worry, we have made dozens of copies to share with other officers!) Don't wait! CALL NOW!

[Linus]

http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif
With tears streaming down my cheeks, I have to admit that this is some of funniest shit I've read in a long time! Ooooh, I'm dying here...

And Sharky: Found that friggin link I posted yet? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/tongue.gif Don't tell me it's in f****n' Swedish too? Why is it that it works for me when I klick it? Never mind, it's not all that much anyway...

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Honestas supra omnis

[*604*MIDNIGHT COWBOY]

Hey PO PONG........
What team you are in SDU?
Do you guys bought the SPAS 15??

[grrlcop74]

Dammit ski where did you get my amateur porn tape??!! The guys bet me I couldn't get my leg back there...how was I to know they had a camcorder? Bastards....

[Sharky]

nope, no e-mail from linus in english or any other language. Try Landshark375@hotmail.com

As for this video, if she is in it I wouldn't mind seeing where she put her foot.

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F.I.D.O.

[ski]

Leg? What leg? I thought it was an amputee! WOW! http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

It's amazing what you "find & seize" during search warrants. Not that I have done a million of them, but I can't think of one where we have not found some "home movies."

We here at F.A.R.T. are pleased to announce that we have recieved the CALEA stink...I mean stamp of approval. Chief Pat Yourownback of the Wherethehellisthat, Ohio Police Department (Author of the best selling police management textbook "How to go to Hawaii for a 'Police Conference' while Screwing Your Officers out of a Pay Raise") stated, "I believe F.A.R.T. products are the best! We subduded 2 incorrigable 5 year olds by lobbing 72 Urban Tactical Fragmentation Devices at them under a heavy screen of "Booty Call Pine" air freshener from 12 Self Powered Urban Aromatic Destraction Devices and only had to call the FBI twice! When shit hits the fan, the only thing to do is F.A.R.T.!"

[Paintman]

We have a new technical assistance phone number: 1-800-DUMBASS

NEW S.W.A.T Brick items in stock! Buy them now while supplies last!

1. Assembly and training instruction video

2. Tactical Level III brick-proof vest

3. Armor Piercing Brick

4. Brick Throwing Log Book, for those with the mentality of "one heave, one shatter"

Chris wee....

[jnc36rcpd]

Well,you guys may think you're smart,stealing my idea for the SWAT Brick. I have,however, done you one better.

I cannot,of course, reveal details, but a well-known producer will be using MY SWAT Brick in his next movie or TV actioner. The hero will be seen throwing the brick through the terrorists' window. After that,I'll take out ads in all the law enforcement/firearms magazines with a still of the scene. I will have to rename the brick for marketing purposes. (I would mention that I'm thinking of the Dark Angel Brick,but that might reveal too much.)

Since my Brick has been used in the entertainment media, that will mean its the best Brick on the market. Coupled with the really cool catalogue I'm hawking for eight bucks a copy (color pictures, people, COLOR pictures) and I will take the market by storm.

After my financial success and the string of steamy relationships with super-models, you may still see me humping the patrol car around Rockville, MD, on the PM shift. That will onlybe because of my tremendous sense of altruism and public service.

Be safe.

[grrlcop74]

No the amputee was the blonde...I'm the redhead. Even more intriguing than the leg trick is the SWAT brick trick. It's quite a marketing ploy, and very suitable for advertising in Soldier of Misfortune, Playboy, etc. I am thinking of cornering the training market myself. I am sure I could find other chicks interested in conducting one-on-one type seminars that demonstrate ALL uses for the SWAT brick. I run into these women fairly regularly, I believe they go by the terms "badge bunny", "holster sniffer", and "fender lizard". Think of me as the "Masonry Madam". I'm here for my boys.
Kristen

[RECON5]

"Tactical Boat Anchor" - you dont have to buy anything. Just go to the bad guys boat sitting in the driveway, and attach the diversionary device(is one case OC Fogger) to HIS boat achor, then deploy through HIS window. The only out of pocket expense is the device, and black electrical tape to secure it. In the case of the bad guy not having a boat please refer to previous numbers posted for further assistance.

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REMEMBER 1*

[ski]

grrlcop74,

Please contact me regarding possible training tape "auditions". We are also putting our new Tactical Tickler/Spare Flashlight Battery Recepticle into testing and would be interested in your and your "friends", umm..., input(!)

Yours in Professional Humor and with all Due Respect,
Ski

[grrlcop74]

Ah hell ski I've worked in mostly male environments since I was 18--don't worry about me taking anything the wrong way. My mind's probably further in the gutter than any of you guys LOL. Just ask Sharky or Flt.
As far as the Tactical Tickler, I'm thinking along the lines of all my fun weekends on Bourbon St.,(I'm only a couple of hours from there) so perhaps we should all go in together and open a cop "toy" store right there in the French Quarter. Between the SWAT brick, the videos, and other training "aids", I'm sure we could rack it in. And Lord knows the guys have dragged me into enough strip clubs with them and I'm tired of looking at chicks. You guys can corner the male stripper market there. <waving a twenty>
We could also sell that Ranger-of-the-Month calendar I am anxiously awaiting the production of.
Take care, Kristen

[Sharky]

Yours in Professional Humor and with all Due Respect,


Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Don't bother with respect, that ain't what she's looking for....trust me. LMFAO



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F.I.D.O.

[grrlcop74]

ROFL...told ya

[ski]

I thought it sounded good!

Hey, go easy on me...I just had Sensitivity/Cultural Diversity Training and I am in the final phases of getting hired with two federal agencies and finally out of state slavery, err.., employment. I gotta at least make an effort! If I never have to wear a shiny clarino gun belt again, I will be happy.......

[grrlcop74]

Far be it from me to keep a man from getting in touch with his feminine side. Just don't get too damn prissy. Women like to talk smack about a sensitive guy, but they're full of it. We really want a macho yet sensitive guy, like a gay trucker or something.
Kristen

[ski]

Hell if men had a feminine side we would be touching it all the time!!!

Gay Trucker: "Breaker, Breaker, One Nine...Hey good buddy, did you see Oprah's show yesterday? I couldn't stop cryin' after Barbara Striesand was done singin'! God I just love her. But what was up with those shoes? What was she thinkin'? Over and out. Catch ya on the flip side."

Ski (Drinking a beer and looking at the centerfold in Playboy. Hubba hubba! Check out the destraction devices on THAT one!)

[This message has been edited by ski (edited 12-02-2000).]

[jnc36rcpd]

I'm occasionally tasked with instructing "Domestic Violence Investigation" at in-service. Do you think that would qualify me as being in touch with my feminine side? Granted,I only do it to meet Victim Advocate babes, but it seems worthwhile. Be safe.

[jcollettusa]

What a bunch of perps! (LOL) And you all are ones that are supposed to be protecting my civilian ass.

[FLTCREW1]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:
My mind's probably further in the gutter than any of you guys LOL. Just ask Sharky or Flt.

You shameless hussy, don't drag me into your lewd conversations, I am a fine upstanding member of the Sheriff's Dept.

P.S.
I am still waiting for that picture of your,...... well you know. (wink)



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NSDQ

[wolfhound227]

Man....this thread's compleatly out of control....GOOD!

(Poor BoPong thought he'd get a term paper out of this,heh)

[jcollettusa]

Pictures?

There will be no pictures passed on this board, until they meet my approval first.

[RECON5]

Originally posted by jcollettusa:
What a bunch of perps! (LOL) And you all are ones that are supposed to be protecting my civilian ass.

I can see the look on your face now. Like some old high school buddies that see you in your uniform for the first time. They realize the only difference between you and them......You never got caught. (LOL)

PS. COP- Collection of Pervets - considering the conversation, it seemed applicable.



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REMEMBER 1*

[grrlcop74]

Originally posted by FLTCREW1:
You shameless hussy, don't drag me into your lewd conversations, I am a fine upstanding member of the Sheriff's Dept.

P.S.
I am still waiting for that picture of your,...... well you know. (wink)


If you are the fine upstanding member of that dept., then Barney Fyffe must be its sniper.
And for all you boys, I've posted my pics on the internet. Try to keep yourselves under control and point it down...if that shit gets in the keys you'll never get them unstuck.
Pool pic: http://members.tripod.com/~funnybonez/savethewhale.jpg
Bikini pic: http://members.tripod.com/~funnybonez/fatowman.jpg
With my friends:
http:/members.tripod.com/~funnybonez/spicegir.jpg

Enjoy!!

[jcollettusa]

Damn you are hot! How many hours do you spend in the gym?

RECON5: LOL

[ski]

Kristen,

I knew better than to look at the links you provided, but...I couldn't help myself.

One word...Yikes!

That guy from the "Silence of the Lambs" could open a super store full of "girl" suits with all of that flesh.

[Marauder]

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EYES! MY EYES! STOP THE BURNING, PLEASE DEAR GOD IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!!
GrrlCop, do you ,pray tell, flash that picture to subdue violent suspects? Cause I know I was curled up in the fetal position on the floor screaming for an hour after I saw....that. Give a guy some warning,huh? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gifAnd for all potential patent applicants on the SWAT-Rock, I do believe that particular patent is already held by a member of a Canadian police department, who had the inspiration while confronting a perp, when he realized that he had only been allotted two bullets for that fiscal year, and as such should find another way to injure/daze the crook. The first thing he saw was a rock... and the rest is history!

[grrlcop74]

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WHO'S YOUR MOMMY!!! <whack>

[ski]

OW, that hurt, mommy!

[RECON5]

I doubt any of those depicted are mothers...
....unless you are trying to imply (in the
infamouse words of Jeff Foxworthy) "SOMEBODY
SLEPT WITH THAT WOMANNNNNNN" LMFAO

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[dsumner]

Yes, it's finally here. From the people who brought you the Real SWAT Rock (TM)and the One and Only SWAT brick now comes-Da Turd(a fecal distraction device guaranteed to work)

Also available in a pyrotechnic version- Da Flamin Turd.

Als available: The Red Turd, and The Foam Turd.

Here's a few comment's from some of our first customers:

"This shit really works"- Harry Palms- Editor of the Bunghole military and Police equipment review.

"The look on the perps face alone was worth its weight in gold" - Sgt. I.P.Freely Arm Pit, AK SO ERT

Remember, When the shit hits the fan, it's probably Da Turd.

[Terry Jones]

o O (I've gotta get in on this...)

Available for small-town departments who
want that NYPD BLUE feeling.....the NYC
NYNEX phonebook.....7lbs of interrogation
device yours for 49.95+S&H

Training video and manual not included

[Marauder]

For some reason, whenever I read this thread, the phrase "the inmates running the asylum..." always comes to mind... strange, huh? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

[FLTCREW1]

Originally posted by Marauder:
For some reason, whenever I read this thread, the phrase "the inmates running the asylum..." always comes to mind... strange, huh? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

Sharky,
For God's sake uncuff the gaurd (yea, the fat one) and push his head up to the glass window, and make him tell everyone everything is O.K. in here.


------------------
NSDQ

[Marauder]

FltCrew1;
ROTFLMMFAO!! You da man!

[Sharky]

The guard?, that guy was a guard? oooopps..... Last time I saw him kristen was dragging him down the hall by his ear mumbling something about naked and gunbelt and her little bitch. I don't know where they went. Also, as my wench will attest, I have first dibs on any pix that may come about from this ordeal. Ya just gotta love her!

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[Sharky]

Kristen at the annual Police awards banquet.

http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com/pictures/annadress.jpg

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[Linus]

No, Señor Sharky!

Man!!!
I got tired of trying to email you that link so I posted a link on...well, SOMEWHERE over at SNIPERNET. Just klick the sucker an' off you go! Then stand by to download some 7Mb of appreciation...

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[DFC5343]

Gay trucker? I saw one on COPS the other night....leopard skin and I think he was from Alabama...hummmm....Kristen?

[Linus]

Oh shit, man!

I didn't read all the posts on the second page before I posted that! Boy, did I ever come across more Gay... Oh whatthehell, I might as well come clean aobut it and post a picture from a especially wet party! Coming up: It's The Dead Drunk Fat Dude in Woman's Lingerie!

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[jcollettusa]

Sharky, that is superb, MAN I LOVE WOMEN! Escpecially those that Kristen posted...just joking.

[grrlcop74]

Yeah, sorry guys, Baitboy there has first dibs on any pics. You would think he would have learned his lesson by now. Especially after he adds further insult by posting that pic of that blonde tennis hussy with underwear that looks more like Walmart nylon than the Victoria's Secret that I prefer. HMPH. One feels manly enough in blue polyester and a bulletproof vest that gives that sports bra effect without wearing bad lingerie too. Besides, I am a redhead dammit.
I would never hand out nudie pics..I am too much of a lady. I'm quite coy and demure--a shrinking violet really. <adjusting halo>. I would never engage in such lascivious behavior <working dents out of halo>.
Oh who the hell am I kidding..I told my mother when I was 8 I was going to be a Navy SEAL when I grew up...my fate was sealed early on LOL....LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!!
Kristen

[grrlcop74]

Oh, and DFC...<picking teeth>..quit talkin' 'bout my daddy!!! He's not a homersexyule..he's just different.

And jc..just roll 'em flour til you find the wet spot!

Kristen

[Paintman]

Agh!!! I just about lost my lunch after that picture! Ever heard of a stairmaster??!!!!!

Screw liposuction, break out the vacuum cleaner!

[Linus]

Pregnant women and small children: Avert your eyes.


------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[This message has been edited by Linus (edited 12-05-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Linus (edited 12-05-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Linus (edited 12-05-2000).]

[Linus]

Fuck it, klick this: http://www.mindmatrix.homepage.com/drunk.jpg

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[DFC5343]

What was the topic of this thread?! http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

[dsumner]

I think poor Po Bong was originally asking about the North Hollywood bank robbery and shoot out, but after looking at the pictures of the hottie Linus posted, why would you evan want to get back to that?

Hey Linus got his number? I just thought of a way I could make some christmas cash. I've got plenty of love starved inmates who would love to get a piece of him.

[RECON5]

Kristen's true colors are coming out now....
Red I believe it was.......

DSumner, are you trying to say he would be signing it Big Joe's "Love Toy" (LOL)

[grrlcop74]

I got two words for that poor chap: tossed salad.

Yeah Recon my true color is red..not that there's anyway to prove it..mwahahahaha

<adjusting halo>
Kristen

[jcollettusa]

You know what they say about Red Heads...

Oh yeah, I don't think I have that much flour in my house.

[RECON5]

JCollettUSA - just a huntch, but I bet if she
(Kristen) posted her REAL photo you would not need any flour............just a guess though. Like she said there is only one way....Err uhhh I mean no way to really know.

[dsumner]

Hell, after we tobacco, booty is the only thing they really have to bargin with anymore.

[grrlcop74]

Yeah...but its enough!!
Who's your mommy??!! LOL
Kristen

[ski]

Red! Mmmm....yummy! My favorite flavor...I mean color!

Ski

[Sharky]

The line forms behind me.

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[Linus]

Retrace the postings on this thread a little and you just might gain some insight as to the identity of that poor fat schmuck in black bra and silk teddy... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/eek.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[jcollettusa]

Recon: I know I wouldn't need that for her, just some strawberries, cherries, chocolate syrup, and a bucket of cubed ice, which I do have in my house. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

[grrlcop74]

<calculating driving distance to Clemson, SC>
uh..hey JC...how many gallons of that stuff did you say you had?? I've found one bottle of that syrup stuff only covers my left thigh.

<evil snickering>
Kristen

<whistling at Baitboy/Satan>

[RECON5]

Well, it has now turned from trying to obtain a photo to checking our maps. YEP I'd say this string has now officially .....Missed the boat.

Careful JC you know what they say, a woman starts checking the fridge it says alot about your bank account or stability or something like that. (LOL)

[This message has been edited by RECON5 (edited 12-06-2000).]

[dsumner]

Well boys, it loooks like you'll be on this one by yourselves. I'm out of the game for a least a week. I hurt my leg trying to keep to of the "children" from beating each others head in today, so I'm ridding a pair of crutches for at least a week. It figures, I get hurt just before my vaction.

[grrlcop74]

Nah Recon I check the hands. If he's got pretty boy hands, I'm going nowhere near him. And NO..big N-O..long fingernails. I can tell you where those AREN'T going.
Kristen

[Terry Jones]

Thank you all for keeping me entertained for a week, I've been laughing till the family housing group near fell off.

JC, we seem to have a hell of a lot of the same things in our fridges...though there
is a lot to be said for chocolate double
fudge cake icing after a "close shave" http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

for what it's worth: I have kinda neandertal-looking hands, generally described as "big"

lol, Terry



[This message has been edited by Terry Jones (edited 12-06-2000).]

[wolfhound227]

Originally posted by dsumner:
Well boys, it loooks like you'll be on this one by yourselves. I'm out of the game for a least a week. I hurt my leg trying to keep to of the "children" from beating each others head in today, so I'm ridding a pair of crutches for at least a week. It figures, I get hurt just before my vaction.

Hey D.S. ...
I think it's time to introduce FLAMETHROWERs
into the DC arsenal.

That would put the Arson in Arsenal..

[Marauder]

*SIGH* I can only imagine how many little innocent kiddies are being corrupted by reading this thread... Ah, hell, who cares? It's still funnier than hell. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif

[RECON5]

Pretty boy hands you dont have to worry about. I dont know many cops that could afford a manicure.

Becarefull JC and Sharky, it's that Alabama Prerequisites for Marriage coming out. (LOL)

[jcollettusa]

It depends on how you describe pretty, I think my hands are wonderful: three rows of calluses, several broken fingers, and scars all over them, they are great looking hands. And yes, my nails are always short.

[RogueExec]

Jeez, if THIS cop ever walked into a manicure joint, they wouldn't be giving me a manicure --- one look at these hands and they'd be giving me a freakin' estimate!

------------------
"Don't think of it as theft. Think of it as creative augmentation of your operational capabilities."

[Sharky]

Marriage???? What the hell is marriage???? Never heard of it. I'll just use her for sex and lock her back up until I need her again. She likes it like that. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/tongue.gif

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[This message has been edited by Sharky (edited 12-07-2000).]

[RECON5]

SHARKY

YOU DA MAN........Where were you when I needed a big brother to steer me in the right direction and give proper advice about how to treat a lady, girl, woman,......whatever(LOL)

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[Sharky]

LMAO.......maybe I should write a book. I must admit that it is refreshing to have a female on here who can dish it out AND take it.

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[grrlcop74]

Recon, I prefer the term "Right Sexy Bitch". That or "Pimptress".

<going back into Baitboy's closet>

Kristen
"Bow chicka bow bow"

[Sharky]

See what I mean?

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RECON5]

You are correct...but it will have to be "pimptress"........that is until such time as we get that photo........."Line starts behind Sharky"........

Hey does that put this forum in the P.C. catagories now...............I guess it wouldn't if they seen some of the stuff she wrote.........TOUGH. (LOL)

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[jcollettusa]

PC, what's PC, publicly challenged? If this board gets any worse we are going to have to move it over to the XXX forums, and admit no one under 18.

Sharky: the book idea sounds great, maybe you can call it, "How the Men from Mars should treat the Right Sexy Bitches from Venus."

------------------
Semper Fi

[RogueExec]

LMAO @ your book title! Think I'll head over and get in line behind you guys for that pic.

------------------
"Don't think of it as theft. Think of it as creative augmentation of your operational capabilities."

[grrlcop74]

Hmm...I believe we should devise a more orderly system for this line thingy. Please submit the following for my consideration: age, height/weight, hair/eye color, waist size, shoe size, and distance between wrist and tip of middle finger...in inches. I will try to refrain from assigning nicknames in accordance with the measurements I receive. <squinting at Flt1..."Vienna">

Kristen
"Bow chicka bow bow"

[FLTCREW1]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:
<squinting at Flt1..."Vienna">


Are you still upset about the
"throwing a Hotdog down the hallway"
comment?

LOL
http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/bart-moon.gif


------------------
NSDQ

[WS-G]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:
Hmm...I believe we should devise a more orderly system for this line thingy. Please submit the following for my consideration: age, height/weight, hair/eye color, waist size, shoe size, and distance between wrist and tip of middle finger...in inches. I will try to refrain from assigning nicknames in accordance with the measurements I receive.

...and the PHS sez:

Age: 36 (make that 37 in 9 more weeks)
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 168 #
Hair Color: dark brown (a few odd strands of silver I've had since age 22)
Eye Color: dark brown
Chest Size: (you forgot this one! <G> ): 40"
Waist Size: 30"
Shoe Size: 12R (US military)
Wrist-to-Middle-Fingertip Distance: 8¾"

Remarks: no tattoos/piercings, all nails kept cut down all the way, spectacle prescription available on request, and all pyrotechnics replaced with New Folger's Crystals.

And I'm Jewish, too!

"Normal", GUY? I don't understand that word.




[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 12-09-2000).]

[Terry Jones]

www.stickdeath.com/swat1.htm (http://www.stickdeath.com/swat1.htm)

heh heh

try changing the numbers up to 6
and look at the other stuff on the
site http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Terry Jones (edited 12-09-2000).]

[ski]

Funny stuff!!!

Ski

[Augie]

I gotta say You guys and Gal have kept Me Entertained for about a week Now. Please Keep it Up!
LOL!

[grrlcop74]

Hey Flywoman, don't make me call LRSC and RAT in here to testify to the verbal ass-whipping you received in SOCCHAT the other night.

Oh, and Mr. Salter....Jewish? <cocking eyebrow> And you ladies have been pointing fingers at me for being naughty....<whispering> email me for my phone number ROFL

And in regards to SOCCHAT, several of us had a good time last Thursday night being drunk and attempting to type. We're planning to do it again, so join us if you get the chance.

Kristen
"Bow chicka bow bow"

[This message has been edited by grrlcop74 (edited 12-10-2000).]

[WS-G]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:
Oh, and Mr. Salter....Jewish? <cocking eyebrow>

So you think we all work on Wall Street or something, already? Waddaya talk, why should the goyim have all the fun?

And do ya think I bought this M-1991A1 because it looked thrifty?

Will, who's never even visited Noo Yawk!

PS — I have it on good authority that if one more individual who types the wrong thing, his/her/its computer will be punished...

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/assets/Nazi.jpg

[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 12-10-2000).]

[RogueExec]

Yep, this looks like a typical cop thread now...glad I found where I belong. Hey, yous guys, just out of curiosity, and since this is my twelfth year doing SRT/SWAT stuff, can someone please back up and tell just who the hell SDU is? Pardon me for missing most of this thread...I've been looking for a tat artist to do me a tat like RAT's. Everybody seems to be out of 20-gauge needles.

------------------
"Don't think of it as theft. Think of it as creative augmentation of your operational capabilities."

[ANACONDA]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, BABY !
YOU GUYS ARE TRULY DISGUSTING !
AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY SICKO HERE.
LOL

[WS-G]

Thank you, we aim to please. Gotta hand it to you... using the proper anatomical name of a body part as your callsign is a good touch, ANACONDA, but don't you think you're flaunting your education a little much?



[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 12-10-2000).]

[ANACONDA]

SORRY 'BOUT THAT, I SOMETIMES GET A-HEAD OF MYSELF.
LOL.

[Linus]

No, ANACONDA, that's "give head to myself". http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif Go figure with that screen name... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[RECON5]

Naaaaaaaaaaa, that is pipe dream (no punn intended). If he could really do that he would never leave the house. They would have to roll him around the house like a ball.
(LOL)

[RogueExec]

LOL, Recon.... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif

------------------
"We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!"

[wolfhound227]

He'd have to move to Nantucket...

[Sharky]

Well, I'm back home in hell. Where's the wench?


LOL....good thing this is just the internet or my girlfriend wouldn't let me hang out with you guys and wenches. But she is a sweetheart so I get to continue playing. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RECON5]

Wolfhound - I guess that little nursery rhyme knows no boundries. (LOL)

Good to have you back Sharky.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[grrlcop74]

.

[This message has been edited by grrlcop74 (edited 12-13-2000).]

[grrlcop74]

The wench has moved from your closet to William's, by the way. And from the sappy ass nature of that last post, I'm going to assume that said girlfriend was standing behind you while you typed http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif.

Kristen
"Bow chicka bow bow"

[Sharky]

Negative ghostrider.......I wish she was. I'd have other things to do than play on the net. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/tongue.gif

That aside..........You tramp! You run off with the white underwear man? (groan) I'll never hear the end of it from that old fart. Hope he's got a good job. I hear viagra is expensive. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/eek.gif

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[This message has been edited by Sharky (edited 12-13-2000).]

[WS-G]

"Put another log on the fire,
Cook me up some Kosher MRE's..."

Uh... maybe that wouldn't be a good choice of song <G>....

ERRATA for Sharky: A careful inventory of my underwear collection reveals black (to wear while kicking in doors), maroon (matches the beret), indigo, purple, midnight blue, ultramarine blue, teal blue, blue-grey, charcoal-grey, steel grey, tiger stripe (the cat, not the old ARVN camo!), leopard (LRRPeord?) spot, rattlesnake, one-count-'em-one OD-green-w/black-print bikini, and two dark ivory, rest assured that any white undergarments that turn up, won't be mine! But at least I can occupy a hide site in my underwear under any condition and still maintain OPSEC. <impression of a young Gary Coleman doing a bad impression of Mr. T> "Who you callin' old, sucka?"

[Sharky]

My mistake, I thought she was talking about Hazen.

By the way, I spanked and scolded her ass for chasing strays and she is back in the closet.

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[Ranger002]

Hey FIN BOY,

GC74 almost had me smoke you. Won't chicks ever change...She said you were talking trash to me over here in Cop Commando land until you found out it was someone else. I did'nt have the heart to tell her you were just jealous. Sounds like it's time for a tag team... a little menage au' GRRRL LOL
Go figure... and watch out SHARK BAIT this one has a badge and a GUN!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
William Casting Couch Hazen.
LA LA is the land of PLAYER BTDT and I am the WENCH MASTER. ( Should I tell her my girlfriend is two years YOUNGER than her ha ha ha ha ha ha.)SHE SURFS TOO

[WS-G]

All right everybody, set your keyboards on the desk in front of you and step back... do not touch your keyboards until told to do so....

This whole thread is seriously detracting from the professional, businesslike image we should all strive to project....

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/assets/Perv.jpg

[Sharky]

<wiping tears of laughter from my eyes> You guys are freakin hilarious! Salter, I won't even ASK where you got that picture but, it suits you. LMAO

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[DFC5343]

MY EYES...MY EYES...AHHHHHHH

[dsumner]

I say you send that attached to your next resume, as a personnel photo.

[RogueExec]

I may never recover from that.

[WS-G]

Both of the images I linked here are courtesy of the following site:

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame1.html

[grrlcop74]

I am going to take a shower now...I may never feel clean again...

Kristen

[RogueExec]

Kristen, let me be the first to offer my fine line of personal grooming services. LOL

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 12-14-2000).]

[RECON5]

Clean..........that is enought to make a fellow feel down right VIOLATED.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[Ranger002]

OK I give up,

I have been trying to find that picture for months. It is obviously an artists rendition of a poloroid taken of me last year and stolen out of my house by my jealous ex-girlfriend. You see ladies and gents I AM a RANGER QUALIFIED BTDT DOUBLE SCORPIO SEX FIEND. She could understand why I had to get online and "love myself" and just having hours and hours of acrobatic love making with her. I tried to tell her that I am more than just a MAN I am a HE-MAN ( so I like to wear stockings whats the big deal on that?) and I need to do it... do it... do... it till
I'm satisfied ( whatever it is). So she snapped a poloriod of me in action and snuck it out from under my nose. What a wench!!!
William Hazen
PS I dont' have that much hair on my chest and I prefer red over black. :-)

[WS-G]

There, you see Detective Hazen?

That's what comes from working [b]VICE for too long!

[ANACONDA]

LMAO....SHIT ! I FELL ON THE FLOOR !
LOL

[DFC5343]

LINUS...you look much...different in your pic... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/rolleyes.gif

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/assets/Perv.jpg [/B][/QUOTE]

[Sharky]

Beware: Officer Salter is out there on the prowl!
http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com/pictures/policechicks.jpg

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RogueExec]

[IMG]http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com/pictures/policechicks.jpg[?IMG]

Like this, Sharkman???

------------------
"I'd like some wine for my men, some hay for my horses, and some mud for my turtle."

[RogueExec]

http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com/pictures/policechicks.jpg

------------------
"I'd like some wine for my men, some hay for my horses, and some mud for my turtle."

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 12-20-2000).]

[RECON5]

ROTFLMAO..................

Well, I hope it ain't my old partner. His motto was "any man can FU#! a good looking woman, but it takes a real man to F#!K a fat chick"


------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[grrlcop74]

Ugh..back to the shower....

Kristen

[Marauder]

He must have meant REAL -DESPERATE-!!! http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/puke.gif
I'll tell ya, thongs and bikinis SHOULD NOT be legally allowed to be made in anything more than a size 8. I think you guys would be able to enforce it without any moral qualms, right?? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif
Man, this is the thread that will not die. And yes I realize that I am helping to keep it alive, I was just thinking out loud....

[Sharky]

1and2and3and4and5.....breath.......and1and2and3and 4and5......breath........

I will not let this thread die before 5 pages. Anybody know what the record is. Oh yeah, POBONG, did we answer your question yet? LMAO.......

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[WS-G]

Spandex will not be worn by the overweight.

Severe penalties will be summarily exacted for failure to comply.

============================================

"Five pages or bust!"

[grrlcop74]

<squeezing her voluptous (read obese) ass into a spandex miniskirt>

Five pages me love you long time, solja boy!!
<slapping thigh and watching it roll>

Hey, if I have to subjected to those hideous pics, you will suffer with me!!! Mwahahahaha!!

Kristen "Jellyroll" Brown

[jcollettusa]

Suffer my ass, just admit it, you love this shit http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/confused.gif.

[jcollettusa]

I wonder if these fat chicks have fat cats?

http://mail14.bigmailbox.com/users/specialoperationscom/getattach.cgi/cat.jpg


[This message has been edited by jcollettusa (edited 12-23-2000).]

[RogueExec]

Kristen, why do I have the inclination that your constant references to your build are not even CLOSE to your true physique? "Jellyroll" indeed. Somehow, I seriously doubt it.

btw, what's the most frequent response when you ask a perp to assume the position??? Just curious.

------------------
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine"

[grrlcop74]

I'm just doing what I can to perpetuate the myth of the fatass chick cop in polyester http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif.

Actually it's pretty rare that I get any snide remarks from someone. If I do, it's usually along the lines of, "Oh yeah, cuff me baby." That or some dyke reference, to which I usually reply, "Lesbian?? My God and all this time I thought my ex was the father of my child...but it was those damned lesbians!! Who knew that strap-on was loaded??!" Once they see they can't piss me off, they either settle on down or get even madder http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/smile.gif, depending on their socio-economic status. Upper middle class white males give more problems than anyone else. I guess it's an entitlement issue.

Kristen

[WS-G]

They're called Yuppies. They're no use to anyone.

[grrlcop74]

WWWWOOOOHHHHOOOOOO WE GOT FIVE PAGES!!!

Uh..wait a minute...I said "me love you long time" to whoever got us to five pages..which is me...hhmm.

Back in five.

LMAO, Kristen

[RECON5]

Kristen,

You need to come up with some snazzy line for the handcuff remarks.

Ex: My brother and I were strolling through the mall noticing the finner scenery. Unlike ourselves this young man decided to "think out loud". He hollored "Hey baby sit on my face and tell me you love me", to which the 5'10 blonde "Goddess" for short description replied "Why is nose bigger than your d!$k".
It was classic, and she got a standing ovation from several of us sitting in the cheap seats.

Just a suggestion.


------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[Sharky]

Dammit, it's trying to die again!

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[grrlcop74]

Originally posted by Sharky:
Dammit, it's trying to die again!



Probably not the first time he's ever said that......

Kristen

[WS-G]

Try a different icon than the triangular caution sign, Sharky. The unit in the middle (you know, the long, black cylindrical thing in the middle of the sign?) is situated knob-down, which may be indicative of urological diccifulties.

[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 12-28-2000).]

[Sharky]

Bastards!

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by William M Salter:
urological diccifulties.



It all DEPENDS..........owch, bad joke. Raising shields.

[Linus]

Dying here!



------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[ski]

Attention all units, attention all units...thread in need of aid...thread in need of aid...any available units and supervisors respond, code 3!

[WS-G]

Well.... When I rolled up to SWATNET this morning, I noticed this thread was up to 170 replies.

Anyone want to go for 200?

[Stan]

Hell....its 172 after this!!! How bout making it 200 b4 the New Year?

------------------
Better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6

[Linus]

200 OR BUST!!!

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[RogueExec]

461 or 200?

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/eek2.gif

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 01-04-2001).]

[Linus]

OK, thread has pulse but no respiration! Beginning resuscitation attempts...<Clearing trachea...huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff-huff-puff>...still no respiration!

Anyone calling 911?


------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[jcollettusa]

Linus, you are the wrong person to be giving CPR, we nee Kristen to come and pump us back-up. The question then becomes, does she have the stamina and endurance to last long enough to revive us?

[Linus]

Oh, I see... that "huff-n'-puff-stuff" on your mind, huh? http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

Or were you just thinking along the line of the ole' mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?


------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[grrlcop74]

Originally posted by jcollettusa:
Linus, you are the wrong person to be giving CPR, we nee Kristen to come and pump us back-up. The question then becomes, does she have the stamina and endurance to last long enough to revive us?

<sighing>

I just KKNNOOWW my skills were not being called into question, eh sweetpea? Ahem. That aside, I'll share a somewhat amusing little anecdote related to the "freefire" New Years Eve thread. The day after New Years a local small town officer stopped in at his local convenience store to take a piss. This store is usually open 24 hrs. a day but had shut down for New Years Eve. He emerged from the men's room with a .357 round that had been lodged in the sink cabinet next to the toilet. After looking at the path of the bullet where it came in through the ceiling, it was determined that had some poor soul of average height been taking a shit at that moment, they would have been hit in the head.

What a way to go...with your pants around your ankles sitting on the shitter at Uncle Bubba's in Mount Vernon, Alabama. Yee fuckin' haw. <picking tooth>

Carry on, gentlemen.

Mouth to mouth my ass...<whipping out ambu bag> No telling where you freaks have been!

Kristen
"Sorry, no bow chicka bow bow, joschlepy said I was cut off"

[Marauder]

Damn, he's Bradying down!
Charge the defib to 100... push the atropine now!
CLEAR!!!
Sorry, Mr. Thread, but we haven't lost anyone this week, and we plan on batting .1000!
CLEAR!

[ANACONDA]

OKAY, JUMPING IN HERE, LOVE A GOOD CODE!
EKG-V.-FIB.
LINE-PATENT
TUBE-PATENT AND SECURE WITH =AIR ENTRY@VENT.
PUSH-EPI @ 1.0MG. / ATROPINE 1.0 MG.
SHOCK: 200J/300J/360J

WOOOOHHHOOOOO ! I HAVE A "PULSE".
ANYBODY HERE QUALIFIED TO HANDLE "PULSES" ?


I HAD A LADY CALL US ONE TIME WHEN I WAS ON THE AMB. BECAUSE THE NEIGHBORS WERE SHOOTING X-RAYS AT HER. I TOLD HER SHE NEEDED TO GET EVALUATED FOR RADIATION-POISONING. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BECAUSE THE NEIGHBORS WOULD COME OUT AND SHOOT THE X-RAYS AT HER AND FRY HER MIND.
SOLUTION: I MADE A HAT OUT OF FOIL PAPER WITH LITTLE SPIKES STICKING UP IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS TO RE-DIRECT THE RADIOACTIVE-FLOW.

YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE FACES OF THE ER-STAFF WHEN I BROUGHT HER IN.

PRICELESS ! SIMPLY PRICELESS !

[NMBR5ML]

Kristen,
Damn...... That is REALLY scary!!!

Hmmmmm. Obviously this would be a homicide. If the would-be victim had a chance to pinch off at least once, would the pieces of crap have to be collected for evidence?

Think that back scrubber hangin' on my bathroom door is gonna be sharing the hook with a K-Pot from now on.......

[grrlcop74]

This one happened prior to my stint with the airport popo, but was relayed to me by a fellow officer whose wife worked as a civilian at the local FBI field office...

One of our resident mental cases (they love the airport, for some reason) repeatedly called to report aliens, invisible rays, etc. etc. coming into her home. She was eventually referred to the FBI <snickering>. A forward-thinking young feebie finally went over to her home after numerous calls to make a big show of inspecting the property (plus, she was beginning to get a little threatening)..this still didn't satisfy the woman. So the feebie got his hands on his some fingerprinting dust and returned to her home with his "magic dust". He sprinkled it around the threshold of her front door and told her it would shield her from the aliens, and left her with a supply of additional "magic dust", should she ever need it.

Never heard from her again.

Kristen

[jcollettusa]

I wasn't questioning your skills. I was just wondering if you were up for the challenge.

[ANACONDA]

I RAN INTO A FRIEND OF MINE TODAY THAT IS A TROOPER HERE. TALKING TO HIM I REMEMBERED A VERY FUNNY EVENT HE WAS INVOLVED IN.
FOR HIS SAKE I'LL REFER TO HIM AS:
OFC. I. TOUGH

I.TOUGH WAS A PATROLMAN FOR A CITY P.D. AND DURING THE NIGHT SHIFT, GOT CALLED TO AN ALARM ACTIVATION WITH GLASS BREAKAGE. HE ARRIVED AT THE SCENE AND SOMEHOW A BRANCH FROM A TREE HAD FALLEN AND BROKE A WINDOW OF A NEARBY HOUSE. HE HEARD A COMMOTION INSIDE AND ID'D HIMSELF AND ORDERED WHOEVER INSIDE TO IDENTIFY HIMSELF AND COME OUT. THE RESPONSE FROM INSIDE WAS "WHAT"!
HE ID'D HIMSELF AGAIN AND REPEATED THE ORDER.
THE RESPONSE AGAIN WAS "WHAT"!
OFC. I.TOUGH IMMEDIATLEY CALLED FOR BACK-UP DUE TO A SUBJECT IN THE RESIDENCE NON-COOPERATING. HALF OF THE CITY'S UNITS SHOWED UP AND AGAIN THEY REPEATED THE ORDER AND AGAIN RECEIVED THE SAME RESPONSE AS BEFORE.
THEY STORMED THE HOUSE AND AS SOON AS THEY MADE CONTACT WITH THE SUBJECT, THEY REALIZED IT WAS A PARROT.

HE STILL CATCHES HELL ABOUT THIS AND IT HAPPENED ABOUT 8 YRS. AGO.
STILL, HE'S A HELL OF A GUY............JUST NOT GOOD WITH PARROTS.

[grrlcop74]

Originally posted by jcollettusa:
I wasn't questioning your skills. I was just wondering if you were up for the challenge.

<flexing>

BRING IT ON!!!!! South Carolina ain't that far away, purty boy!! http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

<posing down>

Kristen

[RECON5]

Anaconda I think we have your town fruit cakes sister up here......

Related by an academy class mate...
Got a call of a Burg, two officers arrive to meet an elderly female, whom is known to be crazier than a shit house rat, with corn bread crumbs on her shirt. The lady proceedes to tell them how someone had broken into her house and taken a bite out of her corn bread.
Realizing there is no rationalizing with this lady the first officer decides to make some fun with it. I will check the remaining portion from prints...turn out all the lights. With that he breaks out his mini streamlight with the red lens and makes a humming noise as he runs the light over the corn bread to check for alien prints. His partner exits stage right LFAO. Officer one, with a straight face, says mam you need the FBI, these guys are too good for us, those prints are undetectable with my meager equipment. The funny part is....the next we get a briefing in roll call saying QUIT telling people to call the FBI about aliens eating thier corn bread.

Just one more for the books.

[grrlcop74]

Shit Recon I hope 1811 doesn't read this or our little secret is out. Those damn feebies will know the REAL source of all those alien calls--the local yokels.

Kristen

[dforeman69]

Fellas! Fellas! I am truly disturbed that your keen law enforcement powers of observation have failed to notice the obvious...grrlcop74 is a FEMBOT. Bettin' money you will find machine gun jumblies under that Victoria's Secret push-up bra...she has already blinded the likes of Sharky and Salter with her extraordinary ability to work her MO-JO. Typical depiction below.

[ANACONDA]

LMAO RECON,
IT ALWAYS AMAZES ME WHAT THESE WEIRDOS COME UP WITH.
GUY,
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT ALGORITHM YOU ARE USING.
ASYSTOLE REQUIRES BOTH EPINEPHRINE AND ATROPINE IN 0.5 TO 1.0MG. INCREMEMNTS AS WELL AS INTUBATION AND THE CONSIDERATION OF HCO3.
VENTRICULAR FIBRILLATION REQUIRES EPINEPHRINE, LIDOCAINE, BRETYLIUM,PROCAINAMIDE, AND COPIOUS AMT.S OF WATTAGE FROM 200J TO 360J.
IN ACLS, I OFTEN LIKED TO HIT THE DOCS DURING THE MEGA-CODE IN USING ATROPINE ON V-FIB.. THEY'D OF COURSE, HAVE A COW BECAUSE PARAMEDICS ARENT SUPPOSED TO PRACTICE MEDICINE. BUT THEN, I'D TELL HIM THAT ATROPINE WOULDNT HURT IN THE EVENT THE V-FIB. WAS THE END-RESULT OF SYMPTOMATIC BRADYCARDIA / ACH-TOXICITY.
THEY'D GO "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH !".
AND THOSE ARE THE FOLKS THAT MAKE THE $$$.

[RECON5]

Naaaaaaaaaaaa that ain't her........she promised a picture in a Bi-Kinni. Thought I do agree the whole polyester thing is just to throw the horn dogs off the track. LOL

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[gcocksedge]

Recon5,

Just a quick question: What is the meaning of your signature REMEMBER 1*?

I am not in Law Enforcement so I am not familiar with it. I have noticed it before, and I was just curious.

Thanks,
Grace

[dsumner]

1* = One Ass To Risk (your own).

[Linus]

Yeehaa! I can see 200 comin' over the hill... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/cool.gif

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[grrlcop74]

AAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Dammit man...you have let my secret out. Although that pic is actually one of my sister fembots..I would never be caught dead in pepto bismol pink. My "uniform" is actually blue, to match my eyes and so as not to clash with the hair. Just because someone is the popo does not give them the right to run around making fashion faux pas.

As for the rest of you freaks, get back in line. DFore, you're cut off. No bikini pic..BAD DFORE BAD <smacking hand>

Kristen
"Fashion Police"

[RECON5]

Gcocksedge-

Dsumner is right 1* = one ass to risk, you only have one, and it's yours. Just a little reminder some on Tac teams, and other Operators use to remind themselves and team mates they are not 6' tall, bullet proof, and dawm near invisible. Operators have thier reputations because of the manner in which they conduct buisness...as a Team.... not as individuals. Training, the ability to adapt and overcome along with not "hanging your ass out in the wind" anymore than necessary(although sometimes unavoidable)are a just a couple of things that make them successful at thier job, and 1* is just a visible reminder that at least for me and a few others helps symbolize that attitude.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[dforeman69]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:
AAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Dammit man...you have let my secret out. Although that pic is actually one of my sister fembots..I would never be caught dead in pepto bismol pink. My "uniform" is actually blue, to match my eyes and so as not to clash with the hair. Just because someone is the popo does not give them the right to run around making fashion faux pas.

As for the rest of you freaks, get back in line. DFore, you're cut off. No bikini pic..BAD DFORE BAD <smacking hand>

Kristen
"Fashion Police"

<Recoiling hand in horror>
Dear God NOOOO!!!! The three most dreaded words in any mans vocabulary..........
You're Cut Off http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/redface.gif

[RogueExec]

LMAO

------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[gcocksedge]

Recon5 and Dsumner,

Thank you for the replies and the time you took to explain them.

Grace

[RECON5]

Originally posted by dforeman69:
<Recoiling hand in horror>
Dear God NOOOO!!!! The three most dreaded words in any mans vocabulary..........
You're Cut Off http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/redface.gif

http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif You must not be married........relax she will get over it....or just find someone, who will.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[dforeman69]

Originally posted by RECON5:
http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif You must not be married........relax she will get over it....or just find someone, who will.



Yeah Yeah I know...as soon as she needs her lawn mowed.
http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

[RogueExec]

LMAO

[WS-G]

Originally posted by RECON5:
...not 6' tall, bulletproof, and damn (spelling corrected — WMS <G> ) near invisible.

Oh well... one out of three isn't bad!




[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 01-10-2001).]

[RogueExec]

So which one is it, Salter......bulletproof or damn near invisible?

[Sharky]

I myself, given the right circumstances and the appropriate amount of tequila, have been known to become both bulletproof and invisible.

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[WS-G]

Originally posted by RogueExec:
So which one is it, Salter......bulletproof or damn near invisible?

Better make that two out of three, because...

(1) I'm actually 6'1½", not 6'0";

(2) Even though it's an older image (from BCT — note the date!), I selected this one because it best shows my height. Unfortunately, it uncloaks me, rendering me visible <G>. The tall white guy standing next to the drill sergeant is me;

(3) You can draw your sidearms and shoot at my image. Print the image first and take it out to the range unless you want to buy another monitor. If it's a departmental monitor, you may want to shoot it anyway; if this is OK with your Chief/Sheriff/SAIC, it's OK with me. If you choose the former option, please scan it when you're done and e-mail me a copy — better yet, upload it somewhere an post a link here. Otherwise I'll assume this method of exposure leaves me bulletproof.



[This message has been edited by William M Salter (edited 01-10-2001).]

[ANACONDA]

1981, DAMN !
I STARTED HIGH SCHOOL THAT YEAR.

I THINK I WAS AT PUBE #28 TOO.
AHH, THE OLD DAYS.

[grrlcop74]

1981...where was I in 1981...hhmm..oh yeah...FIRST GRADE!!!!

Oh, and I mow my own lawn. You can do the dishes, pretty boy. Reminds me of the old joke.."Why do women get married?" "Because vibrators can't mow the lawn."

Kristen
"Where the hell is the John Deere?!"

[WS-G]

You're not too far behind, ANACONDA. I was only 17 when that pic was made. Since I was originally a "Split Option" enlistee, Basic Combat Training is how I spent my summer vacation between the 11th and 12th Grades.

[RECON5]

Dforeman - I did expect the response from Kristen.... of course someone, who makes cracks about her weight would never admit to
NEEDING a man for anything. Speaking of You been talking to my wife Kristen........ oh by the way hope you got a crash helmet for that
"John Deer" vibrator, dont want you to get hurt.

Mr. Salter - I am six foot tall, and like Sharky with just enough tequilla I have become invisible ::Eyes closed:: or is that "I can't see you, so you can't see me". Does that count for two....... and as for 1981 I was in my prime of JR. HIGH.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[Linus]

I believe its' condition has stabilized and that this thread is now out of the woods, for the time being...

------------------
Honestas supra omnis

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:

You can do the dishes, pretty boy.

Kristen


Hey! Dishes are MY domain. Got mah rubber gloves and everything. No fair changin' maids, Kristen.....I worked hard to get there.

1981? Yep, I'm with Recon.....Jr. High

------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 01-11-2001).]

[Marauder]

OK, 16 July, 1981, lemme see....
<counting on fingers>
so drop the two and carry the four....
<taking off socks, counting toes>
so then that's two, cause a week has...

OK, I was _negative_ 7 weeks, still in-utero.
GOOD GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE OLD!!!!!!
So have you already bought your plots and boxes? I realize that you guys will be using 'em pretty soon [being so far over the hill], but they get more expensive as time goes on, you know. http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif
So Mr. Salter, do you prefer your prunes stewed or pureed? [hehehehehe]

[WS-G]

Originally posted by Marauder:
OK, I was _negative_ 7 weeks, still in-utero.
So Mr. Salter, do you prefer your prunes stewed or pureed?

Actually, prune juice is one of the few beverages that actually mixes well with Scotch (the cheap stuff, not the good Laphroaig, which must be enjoyed neat). You should try it sometime... once you're old enough to drink.
http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

[DFC5343]

Salter...I got out Sep.24, 1981... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by DFC5343:
Salter...I got out Sep.24, 1981... http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/biggrin.gif

Okay, DFC wins the Metamucil Award. Salter, didn't know that prune juice mixed well with Sam Sykes.....I'll have to check that out.

Still, don't drink too much of that "grog"....the ramifications of irregularity AND a bad hangover can't be good.

Salter, if you're ever out this direction, and you'd like to enjoy a nice Single Malt neat, look me up.

Remember fellas......(check the quote)

------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 01-12-2001).]

[ANACONDA]

UH, NO PLOTS YET. I DID HAVE TO LOSE THE MUSTACHE ON ACCOUNT OF TOO MUCH SALT AND NOT ENOUGH PEPPER.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE:
NEVER TAKE A LAXATIVE WITH MILK.......ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

UGH !

[RECON5]

I was once told..."Never let a fella piss on your leg, and tell ya it's raining".

"Dumber than a box of rocks don't know come here from sick'em"

"Couldn't poor piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel".

sorry got carried away.......well better go eat "I'm hungrier than a bitch wolf with seven sucking pups". DDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOO.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[grrlcop74]

My ex had a couple of gems as well, Recon...

"I'm so hungry I could eat rice out of a dead Chinaman's ass"

"It's hotter in here than two rats fucking in a wool sock"

Bastard didn't start taking his medication until AFTER I left him LOL.

Kristen

[ANACONDA]

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CUT 'EM OFF.

[ANACONDA]

QUESTION :
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PO BONG ?
THE GUY THAT STARTED THIS.



------------------
"When You Have them By the Balls, Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow"

[Sharky]

I keep waiting on that rabbit with the drum to go running across the screen. This thread just keeps going and going.....

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[jcollettusa]

Yeah, but our rabbit is going to be Kristen running across the bottom of the screen in her lingerie.

[grrlcop74]

Nah jcollett you boys have enough issues without me burning a hole in your retinas on top of them.

"For the love of God!!!!! My eyes!!! In the name of all that is holy put a damn robe on!!!!"

Kristen

[Marauder]

<Rummaging through closet>
<Grumbling>
Dammit, I know I threw my kryptonite in here somewhere.... and I pretty certain it's the only thing that'll kill this puppy... hey, I was wondering where that issue had went...

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:


Bastard didn't start taking his medication until AFTER I left him LOL.

Kristen

He probably didn't want to dilute the experience.

[RECON5]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:

"For the love of God!!!!! My eyes!!! In the name of all that is holy put a damn robe on!!!!"
Kristen

"Man that butt looks like two pigs in a gunny sack fighting to get out".......

Chalk another one up for Rogue...LMAO

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[ANACONDA]

ROFLMAO,


GOOD ONE........

------------------
"When You Have them By the Balls, Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow"

[WS-G]

Originally posted by ANACONDA:
...ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE LACTOSE INTOLERANT.I am.

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by RECON5:

Chalk another one up for Rogue...LMAO



I just calls 'em as I sees 'em, bro.

Two pigs? Gunny sack? http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/eek2.gif



------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[RECON5]

Originally posted by RogueExec:
[/B]

Sorry, just a little humor from "down South"

re: buttocks wiggeling from side to side as she walks down the runway at the local beauty contest. LOL

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by RECON5:
Sorry, just a little humor from "down South"

re: buttocks wiggeling from side to side as she walks down the runway at the local beauty contest. LOL



Now THAT'S funny! LMAO



------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[RogueExec]

By the way, if anyone is looking to lateral, Bellevue, Washington Police Department is looking to hire 17 more officers by March. Starting pay ranges from 42k to 49k per year. No joke.
Email me for details.

97bravo@army.net

[grrlcop74]

My mama always phrased it, "Like two pigs fighting under a blanket" LOL

Kristen
<calling the dogs out from under the front porch>

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by grrlcop74:

<calling the dogs out from under the front porch>

You rang?

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/doggy.gif

------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 01-18-2001).]

[Sharky]

This thread has got to be some sort of freakin record. Seven pages here we come!

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RogueExec]

Long time, no see, Sharkman. Layin' low?

[Paintman]

As Lambchop would put it:

"This is the thread that never ends, it goes on and on my friends..." http://www.specialoperations.com/ubboard/wink.gif

Chris

[Sharky]

Yep, like da song says, "Jus playin possum....layin low...."

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[Paintman]

Wohoo, I hit the seven! Time to pull the respirator's plug on this thread!

[RogueExec]

--^---^--^---^--^---^_____________________

Just flatlined.....

Hey, while I'm on, I have to share one more story with you guys.........we're on patrol one night and get called to the small convenience store nearby. We arrive in time to see the clerk walking back to his store from across the street. Perp is long gone. The clerk goes to his register, opens it, starts counting, and then begins to laugh hysterically. Turns out, the perp comes in, puts a $20 on the counter and asks for change. As soon as the clerk opens the drawer said perp pulls a gun and demands all the money in the register. The clerk complies and the perp flees on foot. In his haste to leave, however, the perp leaves the $20 on the counter. How much did he get from the register? $17.84

Now, here's the irony. The clerk ran out to chase the perp. While he was gone, two dudes showed up and, realizing that no one was around, helped themselves to ALL the beer in the cooler. So, the clerk ended up making $2.16 on the armed robbery, but losing about $900 worth of beer from the chase.

Moral Of The Story: The enemy diversion you're ignoring is the main attack.

------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[TMU]

"The road goes on forever, and the party never ends . . ." (Robert Earl Keen)

------------------
Politicians are like diapers - they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by HmtPD:

If grasshoppers carried machine guns, would birds still eat them???



This STILL slays me! http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/laugh.gif




------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[ANACONDA]

GRASSHOPPERS WITH MACHINEGUNS !
HEAVEN FORBID. I'D NEVER FEED THEM TO MY IGUANA AGAIN.
I JUST FINISHED MAKING THINGS RIGHT WITH MY NEIGHBOR WHEN MY SNAKE ATE HIS DOG.



------------------
"When You Have them By the Balls, Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow"

[RECON5]

Actually had a partner use a variation of that one in a parole hearing...
Attorney: is it possible that.....(x8)
Partner: "It's possible that if worms had machine guns birds wouldn't f&%k with'em".

Now that was funny, the look on the attorney's face............
of course he could have refrained a little and just said "It is possible if frogs had wings they wouldn't bump thier butt when they jumped"......

------------------
REMEMBER 1*

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by ANACONDA:

I JUST FINISHED MAKING THINGS RIGHT WITH MY NEIGHBOR WHEN MY SNAKE ATE HIS DOG.



Ask your snake if the dog tasted like chicken. If he answers you, I'd like to chat with you about marketing.



------------------
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[ANACONDA]

I HAD TO GET RID OF HER. SHE WAS GETTING TOO BIG. AND VERY DIFFICULT TO CONTROL ON MY OWN.
MY SNAKE WAS ABOUT 8 FT. LONG AND IN THE MIDDLE OF A MASSIVE GROWTH SPURT. AND MY WIFE AND I WERE CONCERENED OF THE SAFETY OF MY KIDDO WITH A SNAKE KNOWN (GREEN ANACONDA) TO ATTACK HUMANS. MY WIFE GOT TIRED OF HELPING ME WRESTLE IT OUT OF THE CAGE TO TAKE HER OUTSIDE (NEVER TAMED).
SHE ALWAYS HAD A BAD ATTITUDE AND HER BITING WAS NO LONGER TOLERABLE.
I JUST HAVE THE IGUANA NOW. HE'S ABOUT 4 FT. FOR NOW AND NOT MUCH OF A HANDFUL.
I SOLD HER TO A GUY THAT HAS THESE BEAUTIFUL CAIMANS.
NEXT TIME I'LL BUY A SMALLER SNAKE, LIKE A BOA.
I HAD HER IN THE BACKYARD IN A WATER TROUGH TAKING A SWIM, GETTING SUN WHEN THE NEIGHBORS CHIHUAHUA CAME OVER TO TAKE A DRINK.
I GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT.
FEEDING HER WAS GETTING EXPENSIVE, BUT FUN TO WATCH WHEN SHE'D STRIKE.




------------------
"When You Have them By the Balls, Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow"

[RogueExec]

Originally posted by ANACONDA:

I HAD HER IN THE BACKYARD IN A WATER TROUGH TAKING A SWIM, GETTING SUN WHEN THE NEIGHBORS CHIHUAHUA CAME OVER TO TAKE A DRINK.
I GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT.


The snake probably took a look at that chihuahua and thought what I usually think of them --- "Hmmmm. Looks like a rat on acid."

The snake took appropriate action.



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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and
a laxative on the same night.

[Sharky]

I know....I know....... I just couldn't let it die. Maybe we can liven it up again. Hmmmmm...... Police Officers SUCK!!!!!!!! There, that should do it.

------------------
F.I.D.O.

[RECON5]

I hate to see it die, but I do believe your attempt at stirring the pot lacks sincerity.

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REMEMBER 1*

[mdb23]

Okay, how about this one.......

TEXAS LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS SUCK!!!!!!

Or......

THE BORDER PATROL IS A STRONGHOLD OF RACIST JACK BOOTED THUGS!!!!

Maybe......

MISSOURI COPS ARE ALL HILLBILLY KNUCKLEDRAGGERS WITH 4 HOURS OF TRAINING!!!!

Any of those do the trick?

I could bad mouth Reagan if necessary...perhaps make some sarcastic remarks about berets......let it slip that grrlcop74 is actually a man who has been leading all of you on....start a petition to give TX back to Mexico....etc