Weird/Funny Ex Stories

[garett]

Well I'm bored so I thought I start up a new topic. I'll start it off with a kinda piss poor story, the first one that came to my head.

This summer on the Nav Ex for Phase 2 we ran into a couple of weird people. It was like day 2 of a 5 day Nav Ex and we were about 10km into an afternoon of bush bashing in Gagetown's finest terrain. We stopped for a break on the Elder Jackson bridge. It was around 8pm so it was starting to get dark. Out of no where this van drives by going pretty slow with the lights off. I don't think they saw us until they were ontop of us because they looked pretty surprised to see 5 soaked, cammed and armed soldiers. They did the normal this criminals do, smile and wave. We wanted to stop it to find out what the hell they were doing but our Sgt. wouldn't let us because the last car he had tried to stop was in Kosovo and it had war criminals in it. These guys that were driving the van looked like your average Serbian war criminal so its probably a good idea that we didn't stop them. They probably were armed all we had was blanks and bayonets.

On the last night we had our Nav PO. We had just got dropped off in fucking middle of nowhere and the sun was setting. Out of nowhere....again....this van shows up with the same retards driving, this time with a van load of children. I was alittle freaked out the rest of the night because I kept thinking that we were going to run into some child slave labor camp out in the middle of nowhere. Its kinda too bad we didn't because it would of been good training.
*********************************************

I've got another one I can think of now but it could get me and a few others in trouble.

[farseer]

i have a story from basic. it was last summer and a guy on our course lost his scope during night Nav ex.

we looked for it for a day and couldn't find it. so they grabbed 2 other platoons to help. So we had over a hundred guys, 2 platoons up on back in a huge extended line, looking for this bloody scope. so we spent 2 1/2 days and (rumour had it) $50,000 looking for a $300 used piece of kit.

this was on the QL 2/3 basic in wainright. you know the one where you get shafted out some desparately needed training for the sake of time.

the pisser of it was we had a chance to see a weapons demo from a machine gunners course- a few days later ,we're talking .50 cal everything. but we couldn't wait for the 1/2 hour delay. we had "timings" to meet.

did anybody else have some extremely dangerous people pass through the PWT.
you know, the guys who are more likely to shoot you then the enemy?

[Infanteer]

Yeah,
I was on the infamous Passchendale Sight Hunt.
You want a PWT story, we got a guy who, instead of running the 100 yards to the firing point on the run down, simply started shooting from the line when everybody was 20 meters down range.

[FNG]

Most people can at least keep their weapons downrange during the PWT, but jungle lanes was a different story. I've seen a so called "trained soldier" fire a round at the ground just a few feet in front of me while she was bringing her weapon up for a snap shoot at a target 25 meters away.

[farseer]

hahah
i remeber a guy who had a habit of planting his suppressor in the dirt on the rundown.
and get this,
we were supposed to have 9 helicopters for MTSC II that were supposed to pick us up in springbank(AB)for a bridge assault, then it was OK they'll pick you up in Edmonton, now its 1 helo that is going to ferry troops from an airfield in wainright to wherever we're supposed to be.
rumour has it now that it will probably be ML-o-copters due to costs.

i wonder if this deployment has anything to do with it. they need to get the funds from somewhere i guess.

[archie]

You'll appreciate this one garrett.
I was demo in Aldershot (AKA Alderschwitz) last summer. My fire team partner (a rather jovial chap from 2NSH) and I were recceing the infantry coy's position in the driver trg area. Unknowingly walking into the transport coy's position on suicide hill. So there we are stalking up and out of the corner of my eye I see a little dome. In between two trees is a little MSE OP QL3 beading us up with his C7. I wave at him, trying to tell him we are'nt going after him.
Then I hear "Halt, hands up" so we play the game.
He marches us up to his boss, and as this Sgt is coming down to meet us, he sets off his own trip flare. The infantry coy position just lets loose on us.
My fire team partner and I just sprint the opposite direction (instinct) unknowingly right through the transport position. We run into a C9 trench and the officer (a female Lt from Newf) decides to have fun with us. SO they we are, lying face down in the dirt while she's grilling us, what unit are you from (it was pretty obvious, my epaulettes said PL Fus) and I give her the old name, rank, serial number routine. Finally she lets us go. I look at my buddy and say of course you know, this means war.

The next day we were scheduled to attack the transport coy, and my Sgt decides to do a recce of the position, and guess what two troops he decides to take along. So off we go, we got into the position, piece of cake, and we're coming up onto the blue rocket (port o potty) and who do we see going into it, but the lovely Lt. We creep up to the rocket, and I was no more than ten feet away when out she comes. Imagine the look on her face when she sees three cammed up troops coming for her. She bolted and got away. It was close

The next morning was our final assault on the transport coy. While the rest of demo is attacking from the front, me and my buddy recce in behind them. We get up to the position and when we get there, we see all these people lined up with their hands behind their heads. I thought that demo had been captured, but then I hear my name being called. We bolt over and find that demo has captured the majority of the coy, and they knew that my bud and I had a zap strap and a sandbag reserved for the Lt. We look through the line, she had her epaulettes off, her name tag covered, the works. We found her and zap strapped and sandbagged her, to this day I still have the zapstrap engraved with her name. It was beautiful. Definitely a memory I'll keep through my military career.

[garett]

I don't care about that other shit, is she hot?

[farseer]

now thats leadership!!
answer the man is she hot?!!

[TonyM]

Well, OK…seeing as we’re opening the virtual beers here….
I was working for the Honduran Army (no, nothing glamorous or exciting) bringing in supplies to a little town very close to the El Salvador border on the west coast. The flights were mostly routine and boring so naturally practical joking was taken new levels. Here’s one of the better ones. One hot, sunny afternoon, standing by the apron, one of our crewmen felt the rumblings building up and the need to “hang the monkey’s tail”. The urgency was plainly evident on his face, all the more understandable because of last night’s dinner in a “local” dining establishment and the (unpressurized) flight from Santo Domingo. Well this particular spot was not very well developed, and what stood as the “terminal” was quite some distance from where we were, and even if he got there in time, the facilities were certain to be out of order. Not being able to wait until the aircraft was unloaded (things like manual labour down there operate on a different timetable) and being an fellow known for his adaptability, he quickly made off for a Cat front-end loader parked just off to the side that was used sometimes to unload large items from the aircraft. Today it was not in use, so our intrepid engineer scurried around in front of the bucket, out of sight, to do his business. Seeing a brilliant chance for revenge for a previous stunt, the FO takes a spade that was leaning on one of the wheels, stalks quietly up behind the bucket, (the bucket was not completely grounded, but was sitting on a few pieces of 2x4 to keep it off the wet dirt), notes where the engineer has squatted on the other side. He very carefully slips the shovel under the bucket directly in the “line of fire” and collects the whole load, pulling the shovel back as the engineer does the paperwork.
Well, the guys stands up, and like most of us I guess, turns around to check his handiwork. The look on his face was priceless, starts checking his shorts, boots, and all the while the panic is welling. Finally the FO can’t hold it in any longer and starts laughing, so the gig was up.
The only thing to prevent the ensuing chase and beating was the fact the he was still armed with the goods.

[farseer]

lol

[Cree Warrior]

I've got a story that I've deliberating whether I should tell, as its not too flattering. I will however, under the assumption that it remains SOCNET OPSEC.
I was in Pettewawa three summers ago on a course, we were near the end, doing our field Ex, recce patrols.
Well I was on the patrol with two other good guys, doing a recce of...yup you guessed it the big red tower (you know which one I mean if you've been out there).
Middle of the night, totally tactical, with DS taggin along. We're all cammed up and using all of our patrolling skills to the hilt to make sure our buddy gets a GO.
Its about 0300 ,We are around 800 meters or so from the OBJ and we stop for a Nav check. We go all round, backs to each other and take a knee.
Well when I stepped out I pushed aside a small tree. On that tree must have been a swarm of fuckin wasps or something (I still dont know) that proceeded to sting me progreeively up the arm, inner thigh then right on the end of my friggin dick! Yes in good old Ranger fashion I was going Commando.
The damn things stung me right on the damn head, right through my combats. Well that was it for tactical as far as I was concerned, cuz I flipped out. I threw my rifle, started screaming and yelling and crying. Man oh man, I am shrinking in my chair typing this. If any of you have ever had an injury in that area it damn well hurts!
Anyway, after about fifteen minutes and alot of cursing we carried on the mission, me with a swollen dick. I stayed in the ORV shriveled up in a ball holding my dick till they came back. Seemed like 6 hours.
The DS kept asking me, "you okay man? You okay? You'd better see a medic ASAP" All I could do was shrug and grunt.
Of course as soon as we got back it took about 32 seconds for everyone to hear about what happened. I refused to see a medic however and the swelling eventually subsided. The damn DS kept asking me over and over, you wanna see a medic, you wanna see a medic. I'll bet they had a hollar at that one.

Sua Sponte


[This message has been edited by Cree Warrior (edited 11-21-2001).]

[garett]

BAHHH HAHAHAHAHA, shit thats a bad one. It reminds me of a couple of stories for a couple of reasons.

I'm assuming that the big red tower is the Met tower in the middle of nowhere. This summer I was on one of the last recce ptls of the 10 day Ex. It was a cold, wet and foggy July night and I was laying in a bush next to a cemetery across from the Met tower which was the objective. After awhile this ptl comes out of the fog walking down the road and there was the 4 patroler plus 1 DS plus 1 unknown. That was alittle confusing but we didn't really give it much thought we were more concerned with staying awake and trying to shiver as much as possible to warm up. Later on when we got back to the defensive position we learned that one of the troops had gotten lost trying to find the water point and had walked a few kilometres away from the position until he walked into a franco ptl. When he walked into the ptl he asked them if they were looking for the water point.
____________________________

The summer of 99 I did my QL3 and we went strait from Aldershot into Petersville in Gagetown to a 8 day Area Concentration Ex. On one of the last days we got picked up by the griffons and dropped off about 20km away. Right away our platoon moved into an all-round defence. As soon as we moved into position one of our troops started freaking out and a really big Sgt. was beating him on the back with his hand. We all had no idea what was going on and thought he was freaking out because of the ride. Turns out that he dropped down in the prone right onto a hornets nest and the Sgt was beating him to kill the hornets. Thats not really as bad as taking it on the dick. Shit that would be worst then tooth drag.

[farseer]

still lol.

[FNG]

The big red tower is the fenced off one in the Mattawa Plains, near Deluthier Rd. You can't miss it... It has a certain nickname, but it's function isn't meterological.

Cree: Ouch...

I always feel bad for those who get PI on their sensitive area...

I was on an ex in Ft. Drum, NY last spring doing a company advance. There was still plenty of snow on the ground, not to mention quite a few frozen streams and large ponds. On one occasion while I was walking over a pond, the ice broke, and in I go, all the way up to my neck. I managed to keep the C9 out of the water though. I kept going just to stay warm, but about half an hour later, we got contacted, and my section was used as the firebase. While lying there with wet clothing and a stiff wind blowing, my clothes actually froze solid. When I got up for the consolidation, I was walking like I had a full body cast on.

[This message has been edited by FNG (edited 11-21-2001).]

[This message has been edited by FNG (edited 11-21-2001).]

[garett]

I just checked my map to try and find the big red tower but all I found out is that my map smells really really bad. Kinda like those porno mags that I had hid in the bushes behind my house when I was 12.

I'm never lending my map again.