Family life?

[mjl]

Hello all,

I was wondering if any of you have advice for preparing ones personal life for BUD/S and beyond. I understand that military life in general is hard on the family, but is specifically very tough on families of sailors serving as or training to one day be a SEAL, due to the frequency of deployment and constant moving around.

I've read lots of men planning on attending BUD/S put off all that stuff till after they have retired or are otherwise stable, and also that divorce rates are high among SEAL operators. I don't know how true any of these statements are, but in any case I was hoping some of you could share some insight.

In short, I have an idea about how to prepare myself for any coming challenges, but no idea how to prepare my girlfriend and family. Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks,

mjl

[greenwarrior1]

Ill be up front with you. Probably not what you WANT to hear, but...

it is best to go to BUD/S with NO outside distractions - ZERO. That includes "personal problems," "girlfriends," etc.

BUD/S is a very demanding program. You need to have 100% of your focus on it. Sure everyone says, "oh I talked to my girlfriend/wife and she supports me 110%." Yeah, sure. It is easy for them to say that but it lessons your chances of being successful at BUD/S. At BUD/S you need to focus on BUD/S - that's it. I dont know the statistics - dont even know if they are tracked - but im sure the number of guys that bring their wives, etc drop at a much higher rate than single guys.

As for while your in the Teams, sure divorce rates are high especially with the current Op tempo. But that goes for anything. I think the thing is too many people jump into it not really knowing what to expect.

Now these are all generalizations. There are many successful realtionships as well. It is relative to the people involved. Statistically speaking though, the odds are likely not in your favor. But only YOU and HER know what is best. Good luck either way.

[mjl]

Thanks Green. That's actually exactly what I'm looking to hear, the more frank and honest I can be the better in the long run. I guess I'll see which side of statistics we're on in due time but I appreciate the information nonetheless. Do you by any chance know the average tour length one might expect as a SEAL operator?

Thanks again,

Mjl

[Pati39]

You are fishing.... Look, I was home a cumulative of 4 months worth of time in 11 years.. I only had one Christmas home.. Ever...

Make no mistake, you are sacrificing family time for a higher calling.. It is what it is.. Resolve yourself to this now and you will be better off for it..

[mjl]

Understood Pati, thank you for your insight on this.