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Old 9 July 2009, 17:58
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Spinner Spinner is offline
Pele's Bucket of Fire?...never heard of it
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 13,353
I just tossed some chum in the water, see if he bites.

Dear Mr. Maniche

I am responding to your query in regards to the position of Unskilled Bodyguard for you 11 year old son. I am currently between positions in my usual occupation of Skilled Bodyguard, but decided to contact you to determine whether or not having skills would disqualify me for the uskilled position you have posted.

A little about myself. My name is Anne Haiser-Bouche, 33 years old, and presently awaiting my next assignment from the Personal Security Contractor I usually sign on with, Bernard W. Eiser.

I have current qualifications in all types of small arms, excellent martial arts skills, to include being rated 11.3 on the proficiency scale for the Malachi Death Touch. I speak 5 languages, and can understand 3 of them. I have a valid international drivers license and experience driving everything from Vespas to M-1 Tanks.

If necessary, I am willing to undergo a Mnemonic Scrub to erase all vestiges of the skills I currently possess, in order to bring myself down to the unskilled level that you seek. The choice is yours.

Please feel free to contact me via e-mail if this position is still available, as Mr Eiser could be in need of my services at any time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best Regards, and good health

Anne Haiser-Bouche
"This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who!"
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