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  #61  
Old 18 September 2019, 20:32
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
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Random Breath test? Seriously? I would've kicked your ass for looking at my cleavage. Then take the boots to you for stopping me.
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  #62  
Old 18 September 2019, 20:34
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Originally Posted by 1RiserSlip View Post
Random Breath test? Seriously? I would've kicked your ass for looking at my cleavage. Then take the boots to you for stopping me.
You have cleavage? Damn! Things have changed around here.
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  #63  
Old 18 September 2019, 20:40
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1RiserSlip 1RiserSlip is offline
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Originally Posted by JAFO View Post
You have cleavage? Damn! Things have changed around here.
I didn't use to have any but I think I could probably use a B cup maybe.
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  #64  
Old 18 September 2019, 21:30
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CPTAUSRET CPTAUSRET is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nofear View Post
Do members of the public count?

Circa 1998, I was in my first year of Policing, working night shift. Slow shift.

Pull over a car in the middle of the dead back streets, for a Random Breath Test. (That's important)

It's a small car, so I'm looking pretty much straight down when talking to the driver. She's hot, early 20's, wearing a low-cut dress, with nice "assets".

Basically, all I'm seeing is great cleavage.

Me - "Evening Ma'am, you've been pulled over for a Random Breast Test."

I stop. In shock. That was NOT what I meant to say! I look over the roof of the car to my partner, who's mouth has dropped in shock, staring at me.

The driver didn't notice, and was happily telling me how she just found out she was pregnant.

Quickly did what we had to do, not even looking at the reading, and wished her a safe drive.

Told my wife the same story last night, (former Police dispatcher), and she laughed her ass off.
Cute story..
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  #65  
Old 18 September 2019, 22:26
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In Panama we pushed the jungle back from the abandoned Gatun Water Works, two concrete buildings, for a CQB shoot-house. We built 3/4” plywood walls around all of the interior walls as well as modular plywood and 2x4 walls throughout. We were going to use bullet traps as well.
The USARSO CG, a SF MG (4 Silver Stars, PH, etc...), had to bless the range off before we could officially use it.
He watched us, E7s and E6s, run through the single-story shoot-house with no issues. He then formed us up in a linear formation and said, “We are not leaving here until each of you tell me three things that we can do to make this safer.”
I was the third one in the line and the two before me gave theirs. He turned to me and I said, “Sir, we can conduct in-depth rehearsals.” And couldn’t think of any other legit things. He pressed me. Then I looked him square in the eyes and said, “Sir, if you want it to be safer for us we can get someone else to do it for us or we can wear condoms while we do it.”
He turned red with anger and then looked at the next guy in line who had dinner plates for eyes. Then he said, “Good job men, you have your range,” then he drove off.
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  #66  
Old 18 September 2019, 22:27
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Amateurs.... Ask Gsniper or Gooch.... LOL
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  #67  
Old 18 September 2019, 22:45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nofear View Post

Pull over a car in the middle of the dead back streets, for a Random Breath Test. (That's important)
Yeah, that's important, but probably not in the way you think. Random cops doing random stuff is, well, what it is.
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  #68  
Old 19 September 2019, 03:38
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nofear nofear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1RiserSlip View Post
Random Breath test? Seriously? I would've kicked your ass for looking at my cleavage. Then take the boots to you for stopping me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferryman View Post
Yeah, that's important, but probably not in the way you think. Random cops doing random stuff is, well, what it is.
It's Australia...different laws and requirements. Not condoning or condemning, just stating the fact. RBTs are required by every Aussie Police organisation on a daily basis. The breath one, not the other one.
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  #69  
Old 19 September 2019, 07:50
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grog18b grog18b is offline
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No random boob tests? :)
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Finally, I believe that punishing lawful gun owners by creating new, more onerous laws, and restricting Constitutionally guaranteed rights, when we already don't enforce the tens of thousands of gun laws we have on the books, is like beating your dog because the neighbor's dog shit in your yard.
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  #70  
Old 19 September 2019, 14:04
Tonydec Tonydec is offline
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Having a conversation about yet another crazy decision from our bosses' boss (x) that one of our boss's (Y) agreed to. Men were aghast that our boss agreed to it and why he didn't fight it. I said "Y's got his head so far up X's ass, if X were to fart, y would burp."
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  #71  
Old 19 September 2019, 21:56
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Originally Posted by nofear View Post
. Not condoning or condemning, just stating the fact.
Because right or wrong is just, meh.
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  #72  
Old 19 September 2019, 22:24
Gsniper Gsniper is offline
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Quote:
Amateurs.... Ask Gsniper or Gooch.... LOL
I used to come up with some creative off post details for Sharky whenever anybody above the rank of 02 was going to be around.
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  #73  
Old 19 September 2019, 23:04
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The Fat Guy The Fat Guy is offline
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How about politicians / political appointees?

IN active duty after 9/11, I am in the White House doing SVA's for food and agriculture CI/KR. I get a frantic all to come to DC by the White House staffer managing the assessments to brief every mother fucking counsel (spelled lawyers) from all of the departments, White House, USDA, FDA, DoJ lead counsels. One of them goes on a rampage about weighting one of the factors in CARVER. I try and explain it to him that weighting skews the results and that the scoring of each factor establishes the risk profile for the asset. It gets pretty heated and some folks are getting uncomfortable. Then an awkward pause occurs and an ambulance pulls up right outside of the room we are in, lights a flashing. So I toss out some SF humor and say " If anyone needs to run out there and drop off a business card we can take a 10 minute break."

The staffer, a really good dude from Kansas almost split an O ring from laughing. All the lawyers, not so much.
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  #74  
Old 19 September 2019, 23:54
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CPTAUSRET CPTAUSRET is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Fat Guy View Post
How about politicians / political appointees?

IN active duty after 9/11, I am in the White House doing SVA's for food and agriculture CI/KR. I get a frantic all to come to DC by the White House staffer managing the assessments to brief every mother fucking counsel (spelled lawyers) from all of the departments, White House, USDA, FDA, DoJ lead counsels. One of them goes on a rampage about weighting one of the factors in CARVER. I try and explain it to him that weighting skews the results and that the scoring of each factor establishes the risk profile for the asset. It gets pretty heated and some folks are getting uncomfortable. Then an awkward pause occurs and an ambulance pulls up right outside of the room we are in, lights a flashing. So I toss out some SF humor and say " If anyone needs to run out there and drop off a business card we can take a 10 minute break."

The staffer, a really good dude from Kansas almost split an O ring from laughing. All the lawyers, not so much.
Good one..
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  #75  
Old 20 September 2019, 00:08
8654maine 8654maine is offline
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Some good ones here.

I've got no stories to tell.
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  #76  
Old 20 September 2019, 02:48
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wildman43 wildman43 is offline
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Originally Posted by 8654maine View Post
Some good ones here.

I've got no stories to tell.
2nd Force Recon, wasn't that the unit Clint Eastwood was in the movie.
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  #77  
Old 20 September 2019, 04:06
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Ole crusty bastard Ole crusty bastard is offline
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Originally Posted by 8654maine View Post
Some good ones here.

I've got no stories to tell.
There are some (many) tales that unfortunately, will be going to the grave.
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  #78  
Old 20 September 2019, 07:23
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After my first deployment I'm back at work and in a meeting with about 10 people, including my boss. Just coming off active duty for a year, my language filter is still out of service. I find myself interjecting some version of the word fuck in every sentence I utter. My boss is a conservative Christian and saying "pissed off" is extreme for him. I think to myself that I need to clean it up and quit cussing.

So, what's the next word out of my mouth?





"Goddamnit"
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  #79  
Old 20 September 2019, 07:45
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I asked President Clinton (who had just gotten back from VN) what he did over there. I also asked him where he was when we needed him over there, when the bullets were flying. The room became completely silent, he had reached for my hand, I had put it behind me. I eventually let him shake my hand.
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  #80  
Old 20 September 2019, 10:03
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sarc88 sarc88 is offline
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This is EXACTLY my area!

To my Division Officer at Navy Dive Sch (CWO4 hardhat diver and former Senior Chief Bosun) "Get off my ass, you Judas Iscariot mfer. You already took your 30 pieces of silver to buy your way out of the Chief's Mess, and the Officer's Mess definitely doesn't want you. You better just kiss my dick while you can". To be fair, I started running as soon as I said that. He was a big, burly bruiser with a typical Boatswains Mate attitude. I respected the shit out of that guy and would swim thru a pack of great whites for him.

To a former PLT CDR "Sir, do you know what the root word of Officer is? It's OFFICE. Now go back to yours and let the men do their fuckin work. You're no JM, and certainly don't have a letter of designation from the CO. I do, and it says that I'm the Airborne Mission Commander today". He was a great guy, just new. I'm seeing him this year and can't wait.

To my current boss during my annual review this year "How can you help? I'm glad you asked that, Matt. There are 2 types of workers here - Earners and Burners. I'm an Earner. I bring money into this organization. So when the organization wants some of my time, like that bullshit brief you signed me up for, the ppl who actually pay me, come first. You can help me by remembering that I personally hire 5 govt and 35 contractors here, and every cent of that gets taxed for this branch." He's actually a good guy, former SWO and has about 20yrs of corporate mgt on him from REAL bottom line orgs like Home Depot and Target. I halfway think he's wasting his time as a GS.
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Last edited by sarc88; 20 September 2019 at 10:23.
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