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  #21  
Old 18 December 2000, 13:04
RogueExec RogueExec is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Washington State
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One time, my partner and I were on a foot chase with an armed robbery suspect through the base. He was a jack rabbit and we were having a tough time keeping up, but we kept him in sight. As we hit the golf course I was still losing ground when I, in desperation, yelled out, "STOP! Or I'll release the dog!!!" My partner, keying in on my attempt, barked loudly several times. The suspect stopped dead in his tracks, put his hands on his head, knelt down, and began yelling for us to please NOT release the dog. Needless to say, when we caught up with him, he noticed there was no dog. He was pissed. My partner, about a week later, was assigned to the K-9 unit......no joke.

That same partner and I responded to the E-Club one night, where a drunken idiot was being violent with just about anyone who got in his way. He was in the parking lot when we showed up. He saw us, made a beeline for his car, got in, fired it up, and backed up to leave. In doing so, he backed over a curb and high-centered the car. My partner approached the car and the drunk floored the gas pedal. My partner starts jogging in place. The drunk continues to press the pedal and my partner begins running in place. As the drunk watches his speedometer pass 70, 75, 80, with my partner all the while "keeping up with him", the drunk is just amazed.....eyes as big as Buick hubcaps...he starts shakin' and peein' himself. Finally stops the car. The whole way to the station he's telling the wagon guys about this "cop who chased him down in his car while he was doin' 80 easy". New nickname for my partner? FLASH.
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"I'd like some wine for my men, some hay for my horses, and some mud for my turtle."

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 12-18-2000).]
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  #22  
Old 18 December 2000, 14:39
shurefire shurefire is offline
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These stories are very entertaining and give me a little preview of things I may expect in the field. Keep 'em coming. (These stories I mean, your minds are still in the gutter after KRISTEN's story?)

<<eek I'm sorry K, I usually lurk in the Marine threads. Sorry to be an ass. Both of you ladies rock, sorry to get confused.>>

[This message has been edited by shurefire (edited 12-18-2000).]
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  #23  
Old 18 December 2000, 16:11
grrlcop74
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Red face

Alright now shure...there's only two wenches (pardon me, Grace) that have the balls to post on these boards. At least you can keep us straight ;D

K-R-I-S-T-E-N
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  #24  
Old 18 December 2000, 16:36
grrlcop74
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Here's one related to me by a friend, now an FBI agent, who used to be the intake counselor for the local juvie boot camp. One evening I was his date for Strickland Youth Center's Christmas party. He got a page out to report to the boot camp since they were bringing a group of kids in. His job was to stand by and observe as they were brought in for processing. I went back to his apartment to wait it out and when he returned he was laughing his ass off. When he got there, he stood back and watched as one young man about 14 years of age ran his mouth. This was a skinny, too small for his age little redneck who had priors for everything from harassment up to robbery and thought he was Billy Badass. He kept running his mouth to the other kids, to the drills (who were standing back themselves and watching at this early stage in the game), and going on and on. Finally it got to the point for the kids to strip and be searched and de-liced. They lined up, Billy Badass first. When he realized what was happening he suddenly got very very quiet. All eyes were on him with the sudden change. He slowly dropped trou to reveal...Ghostbuster Underoos. He was small enough to still fit in them. Kev said you could have heard a pin drop. He had to turn around to keep from laughing. The drills were all over the kid at that point..for the duration of his stay he was known as "Recruit Ghostbusters". Guess he wasn't so badass after all.

Kristen
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  #25  
Old 18 December 2000, 20:05
Tracy
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Place: Tennessee.

Situation: Training Officer with New Academy Graduate.

Time: Midnight.

The FTO and the Newbie are cruising through the Projects when they get a call to assist in a foot-pursuit. As luck would have it, the perp pops out onto the street right in front of them. They follow in the car and the perp runs towards a bridge.

The subject bolts for the ditch under the bridge; which is choked with weeds and brush. Recruit immediately bails and follows into the ditch. FTO stops the car and runs to the edge and peers into the gloom. He hears a fierce struggle (SNAP, AIEEE, THUD, etc.) but can't see where they are...

FTO: "LIGHT HIM UP!!"

Recruit: "I AM!!"

FTO: "USE YOUR FLASHLIGHT!!"

Recruit: "I AM!!"

FTO: Sigh, "TURN-IT-ON!!"

Recruit: "Oh." Click.

Perp was taken to hospital enroute to jail.
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  #26  
Old 18 December 2000, 20:22
Tracy
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Desert: California Desert

Situation: JTF-6 Support to DEA Operations.

An SF Recon Team was sent out to find an RV sighted going offroad into BLM Land. Usually this means they're a mobile methamphetamine lab. After 3-4 hours of wandering around the foothills, the team can't find any sign of the vehicle. The following is the radio traffic...

Team: "Base, Victor-66. No sign of target, over. Say again last known location."

HQ: "Victor-66, Base. Last known location Grid blah-blah-blah-blah."

Team: "Base, Victor-66. Roger that, we're about 100 meters north and we don't...KA-BOOOOM!!"

HQ: "Victor-66, Base. Say Again."

Team: "Base, scratch that, target identified, roll Fire, roll HazMat. We'll respond as soon as the pieces land."

The perp in the RV decided to go forward to the drivers seat and light up a cigarette while waiting for the stuff to cook...

The Team found him laying face up about 20 meters from the blast, cigarette in hand, and smoke curling up around the edges; alive. Wile E. Coyote would have been proud.
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  #27  
Old 18 December 2000, 20:41
Tracy
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Place: Lake Mead, Nevada.

Situation: JTF-6 support to DEA Operations.

An SF Company has recon duty in the Nevada/Arizona region of the US. After a couple of weeks in the desert, the DEA SAC gave the SF guys the keys to a house boat they seized weeks earlier. So one team at a time would take the boat out onto Lake Mead and relax for a day or two.

About two hours after dropping anchor, a motor boat pulls up and asks if anyone wants some 'blow'.

So they guys look at each other and say "Sure!! Come aboard and have a beer and burger!" Dealer walks inside and SLAP; he's on the deck bound and gagged. Team propmptly calls the SAC and the Agent says sit tight, I'll be right out to arrest him. The Agent is in Indian Springs, NV doing pre-briefs with other SF guys. He's at least five hours away.

So while the team waits, another boat pulls up and asks "You guys want some nose candy?" SURE, WALK, SLAP. Another boat tied off. The team doesn't bother to call because the SAC is enroute.

Another boat. SURE, WALK, SLAP. This goes on until the house boat is ringed with unoccupied boats; which makes everybody think there's one HELUVA party goin' on; which brings more dealers.

Pretty soon they're turning dealers away, but taking business cards and phone numbers in case they run out...

Up putters the SAC in a 10 foot Zodiac; wondering what-the-hell is going on. It took a WEEK to get all the paperwork filled out.
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  #28  
Old 18 December 2000, 23:13
Sharky
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<Laughing Hysterically>

------------------
F.I.D.O.
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  #29  
Old 18 December 2000, 23:43
LRSC Grunt
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Guy,
Is she your wife?
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  #30  
Old 19 December 2000, 03:01
Marauder
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GUY, as good a story as it is, I think I still gotta give Rogue's "Flash" and Tracy's "KABOOM" and "SURE, WALK, SLAP" props for being the most ROTFLMAO-inducing. But yours comes a DAMN CLOSE second. I'll tell ya, women are on crack. RIGHT, GrrlCop????

[This message has been edited by Marauder (edited 12-19-2000).]
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  #31  
Old 19 December 2000, 09:34
grrlcop74
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<smacking vein>
We prefer the term "mood altering substances". Anything that helps us deal with the everyday traumas of MEN.

Kristen
Psychobitch Extraordinaire

[This message has been edited by grrlcop74 (edited 12-19-2000).]
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  #32  
Old 19 December 2000, 09:52
RECON5 RECON5 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2000
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LMAO - Those are great, and thanks for the advice on the opposite sex GUY, just goes to show how truely deep your life's experiences do go. LOL

Since we're going operational, I thought I would share one more....I will never forget.

Place- "Pot Hole" Texas
Time - 2am
Event - Narcotics Search Warrant - Meth

We had been up all day instructing a Basic SWAT School, but of course Narcotics came up with a "sure thing" at 2am. Due to having sent one team home to be ready for PT at 5am with the students we went to our latest aquasition....a new breecher. Give'em a shot "he's ready". Well as we later learned he tunnel vision was something he was not able to overcome.

FFW.- We are making our approach to the suspects trailer house, and the breacher is carrying the Fire Axe...a tool used many times, which "if used correctly" (key phrase)will snatch open a trailer house door in a heart beat. I had seen it done a million times no concerns. My partner and I stage on the door to provide cover and call up the breecher. He makes the call "Police...Search Warrant" and with one fail swoop sends the fire axe smooth through the frail metal trailer house door. It took him a second, but he did remember the back-up and called "Halogen Bar.....Halogen Bar..." my partner fighting back laughter looks him dead in the face and says...."what the hell you gonna do with it...throw it through the door too?"..of course now when we make entry and "the smoke clears" the suspect is sitting on the couch straight across the room from the front door white as a ghost. The fire axe at head level 3ft to his left, stuck in the wall.

he never lived it down, and leaving the team brought no releif.

------------------
REMEMBER 1*
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  #33  
Old 19 December 2000, 12:36
RogueExec RogueExec is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Washington State
Posts: 919
KABOOM story is still killin' me.....LMAO!

Keep 'em comin'!!!

[This message has been edited by RogueExec (edited 12-19-2000).]
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  #34  
Old 19 December 2000, 12:55
Sharky
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OK, I will wade into the fray here. BUT, this is only make believe, right?

Scene: Methville, Arkansas
Mission: Serve narcotics search warrant.

Once again, a trailer house, a warrant and a new breaching technique.

After announcing their presence, the breacher waits a reasonable amount of time for occupants to open the door (approx. .20 seconds) and proceeds to breech the door using a ram. Mr. Breacher doesn't realize that said trailerhouse door opens OUT, not IN and thus the door V's somewhat but is far from breached. Meanwhile Mrs. Methhead is walking by said door at this time and decides to be a good citizen and open the door for the nice guys in the balaclavas at approximately the same time that Mr. Breacher is making his second attempt at breaching the door. Needless to say, momentum took it's course and Mrs. Methhead wound up getting breached right in the breadbasket (insert noise of every last bit of air leaving Mrs. Methheads lungs) and stepped on several times as entry was made on the residence. I even heard that one team member was heard to say, "That was COOL" as the team was making entry. (Can't imagine who that might have been) Miraculously, she was not seriously injured and Arkansas courts are not very good about taking pity on dopers who want to sue.

------------------
F.I.D.O.
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  #35  
Old 19 December 2000, 12:57
Sharky
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OK, I will wade into the fray here. BUT, this is only make believe, right?

Scene: Methville, Arkansas
Mission: Serve narcotics search warrant.

Once again, a trailer house, a warrant and a new breaching technique.

After announcing their presence, the breacher waits a reasonable amount of time for occupants to open the door (approx. .20 seconds) and proceeds to breech the door using a ram. Mr. Breacher doesn't realize that said trailerhouse door opens OUT, not IN and thus the door V's somewhat but is far from breached. Meanwhile Mrs. Methhead is walking by said door at this time and decides to be a good citizen and open the door for the nice guys in the balaclavas at approximately the same time that Mr. Breacher is making his second attempt at breaching the door. Needless to say, momentum took it's course and Mrs. Methhead wound up getting breached right in the breadbasket (insert noise of every last bit of air leaving Mrs. Methheads lungs) and stepped on several times as entry was made on the residence. I even heard that one team member was heard to say, "That was COOL" as the team was making entry. (Can't imagine who that might have been) Miraculously, she was not seriously injured and Arkansas courts are not very good about taking pity on dopers who want to sue.

------------------
F.I.D.O.
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  #36  
Old 19 December 2000, 13:47
mdb23
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LOCATION: Kansas City, MO

TIME: Too damned early

SITUATION: reading posts on SOCNET


While in the process of reading posts on SOCNET's "this should be entertaining thread," mdb23 was overcome by uncontrollable laughter and nearly fell out of his f**king chair!!!!!

Great stories!!

mdb23


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  #37  
Old 19 December 2000, 19:36
Tracy
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Place: Baden Lake, North Carolina

Situation: Mutual Aid Request.

The Sheriff of a local county asked the Exercise CO if he could send some folks over to Baden Lake to watch a marijuana patch someone grew in Uwharrie National Forest. It's ready for harvest, he needs some eyes on it and call when someone gets to it.

CO says sure; and a link-up plan is set between an SF Student Detachment and a Deputy Sheriff. They meet and set up signals, target location, etc.

The Team emplaces one six-man stag team right on the lakes' shoreline. They're hunkered down in the weeds when a boat comes up and beaches right in front of the hide site. Next thing they see is a picnic basket, cooler, and a blanket get tossed over the side. Then a couple hops out; a supermodel "Daisy Duke" twin and a butt-ugly redneck.

Well they set up shop and commence to eating and drinking the six-pack. About 30 minutes later, off come the clothes. For 15 minutes, this couple tried out every chapter in the Kama Sutra. This is all happening 10 feet in front of the stag team.

The couple lays back, exhausted with steam coming off them (in June). The stag team pops up out of ground and starts to applaud, whistle, and yells "ENCORE!"

The couple levitated and streaked for the boat; not looking back, not stopping for anything. The stag team picked up everything they left, sterilized the area, and went back to ground.

Nobody ever showed up for the grass.


[This message has been edited by Tracy (edited 12-19-2000).]
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  #38  
Old 19 December 2000, 22:10
WS-G WS-G is offline
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Location: Same universe
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Damn, Tracy.... That beats the decomposed sacrificial swine-in-a-pentagram my team stumbled across (literally!) in Sam Houston National Forest one summer night back in '83!

Cursory metascopic exam (quick look through the night vision scop in layman's term for those of you out there in TV-land) to make certain it wasn't a dead human and off we were again.
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  #39  
Old 20 December 2000, 08:20
LRSC Grunt
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Thumbs up

I want to hear this one!
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  #40  
Old 20 December 2000, 12:00
RogueExec RogueExec is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Washington State
Posts: 919
Agreed, Mr. Salter........c'mon.....give.
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