SOCNET

Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > The Lounge > Humor

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 17 January 2019, 12:36
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: sc
Posts: 6,446
bad puns

What's the difference between a blonde in a nun's habit on a bicycle and a brunette in a police uniform on a unicycle?






Attire.
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 17 January 2019, 17:04
UGA_11B UGA_11B is offline
RIP Cass and SOTB
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,281
Iraqi father gifts bag to daughter for her birthday.

Daughter says "thanks for the Baghdad"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 18 January 2019, 00:46
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: sc
Posts: 6,446
What does DNA stand for?




National Dyslexia Association
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 18 January 2019, 03:19
Stretch Stretch is offline
The atomic zit
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Capital of the Old North State
Posts: 4,265
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34

And you can the change the joke around and still be just as funny.

Last edited by Stretch; 18 January 2019 at 03:24.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 18 January 2019, 15:58
Lefty's Avatar
Lefty Lefty is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 727
Kitty Hawk

- cat predator

Symmetry

- Irish graveyard
__________________
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on.
This person must be fired.

"For the mission, then. As long as he functions, I will humor him."
"If you don't humor him, you may find out how well he functions."
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 18 January 2019, 23:58
P304X4's Avatar
P304X4 P304X4 is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: High Ridge, MO 63049
Posts: 677
Bullet proof Irishman



Rick O'Shea
__________________
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”

"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere."
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19 January 2019, 15:39
fy0834's Avatar
fy0834 fy0834 is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 268
A Texas Oilman to his dentist...

“As one driller to another”
__________________
Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much." - J. Wayne

Don't forget Easter SEAL's

"DJT 2016"... He didn't know it couldn't be done
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 21 January 2019, 06:26
Sierra290's Avatar
Sierra290 Sierra290 is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Queensland
Posts: 269
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 21 January 2019, 22:40
P304X4's Avatar
P304X4 P304X4 is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: High Ridge, MO 63049
Posts: 677
Fire Rabbits............a hare razing story.
__________________
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”

"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere."
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 22 January 2019, 08:33
Shadow's Avatar
Shadow Shadow is offline
Problem Solver
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 5,049
How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews it.
__________________
"If you force me to do violence, I shall be so savage and so cruel, and hurt you so badly that the thought of revenge shall never cross your mind" --Machiavelli

"Oderint, dum metuant" ("Let them hate, so long as they fear") - Caligula

"Those that know don't talk and those that talk don't know."
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 22 January 2019, 08:54
Mingo Kane's Avatar
Mingo Kane Mingo Kane is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,723
You guys smoke too much hippie cabbage...however...

What's the difference between a bowling ball and Nancy Pelosi?




You can only fit three fingers into a bowling ball....and I guess if push come to shove, you could eat the bowling ball (if it was broken up into little pieces).
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 22 January 2019, 15:01
billdawg's Avatar
billdawg billdawg is offline
Going cyclic!!
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Omaha,NE
Posts: 3,309
Did you hear about the Easter Bunny going to the Haunted House?
He had a hare raising experience.
__________________
Be nice, until it's time to not be nice!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 22 January 2019, 16:48
Ole crusty bastard's Avatar
Ole crusty bastard Ole crusty bastard is offline
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Port Charlotte FL
Posts: 5,331
Will glass coffins become popular?
Remains to be seen.
__________________
...when in doubt...over prime.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 23 January 2019, 09:14
DSSRonin's Avatar
DSSRonin DSSRonin is offline
Authorized Personnel
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fragrant Harbor
Posts: 1,303
Two gay Irish guys -

Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 24 January 2019, 00:20
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: sc
Posts: 6,446
Smoking will kill you, and bacon will kill you, but smoking bacon cures it.
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 24 January 2019, 00:30
Stretch Stretch is offline
The atomic zit
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Capital of the Old North State
Posts: 4,265
Confucius says: Man who loses key to girl friend’s apartment get no nookie...

Stretch says: Man with fuck in his name has lost more new keys than remembered...
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 24 January 2019, 03:59
RichTales RichTales is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Pope, Lockbourne, Howard
Posts: 31
For men, love is a verb.
For women, love is a noun.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 24 January 2019, 21:31
Wxguy Wxguy is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by RichTales View Post
For men, love is a verb.
For women, love is a noun.
Boys have a penis...

Girls have a vagina....

Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 25 January 2019, 07:56
leopardprey's Avatar
leopardprey leopardprey is online now
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 14,266
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSSRonin View Post
Two gay Irish guys -

Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael
How fitting for a State Department employee.
__________________
"Look Sharp, Act Sharp, Be Sharp - But don't cut yourself!"
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 2 February 2019, 02:20
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: sc
Posts: 6,446
Scientists have discovered that cows produce more milk when dairy farmers talk to them. It doesn't seem to matter what language the farmers speak, though, because everything they say just goes in one ear and out the udder.
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:49.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
© SOCNET 1996-2018