Go Back   SOCNET: The Special Operations Community Network > General Topics > The Lounge > Humor

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 8 May 2009, 01:51
Local's Avatar
Local Local is offline
Newbie shooter
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Ether..
Posts: 1,647
From Craigslist: Why are all hot girls Crazy?

This is ... excellent. I feel like the author and I must have dated some of the same girls...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Why are all hot girls Crazy

Girls,

Seriously. Stop it.

We all have our days, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the fact that I haven't met a hot girl that could keep the crazy under wraps.

Insecurities / hates on all my female friends - Yes, I've dated, or had sex with a few of them. But if we are dating, I'm dating you, not them. This is probably because you are a better combination of brains, looks, and have managed not to let the crazy out. You have other guy friends. I don't flip out when they call, or attempt to read the texts or emails they send. Yes, I will meet new girls at bars and talk to them, possibly friend them on facebook. If I thought you slept with every person you were facebook friends with you would probably be pretty insulted. If we are dating, we will probably have sex every night we spend together, most mornings, and some afternoons. This probably won't be enough for me, and you will know this, but this doesn't mean you need to start flipping out over every time my phone rings and its a girl.

True story: Taking girlfriend of 2 YEARS out to a dinner for her birthday. Top of the line steak house, cake already hidden in the back, presents of the LV variety. I get a call on my phone half way there from a girl that lives in my building (she has a boyfriend..) and I ignore it because I'm in the car with her and its HER birthday. SHE FLIPS OUT! WHY DID YOU JUST IGNORE THAT CALL? HUH? blah blah, nothing I could say, dinner ruined. Then bitches at me weeks later for not doing anything nice for her birthday...

Focused on yourself: I get it, when you were growing up, you were probably hot then too. Boys would do almost anything for you, no matter how you treated them. You never really had to learn how to be a good person, because everyone let you get away with your shit. Guess what, you're no longer a little girl. In a relationship (lets be honest here) it will be 60%+ you. Thats fine, I'm somewhat old fashioned, I like taking care of you, but when its time to reciprocate - ie I have some big assignment or project - you can't be pulling stuff that gets in my way, makes my life harder, get mad at me for not wanting to go out, getting even more mad for me not wanting to pick you up from the club at 2am, keeping me up for all hours of the night, etc. If I ask you to be ready, I do mean it. Waiting 5 minutes downstairs is one thing, waiting 30 minutes is excessive.

Messing up my apartment, leaving your trash in my car, ughalkdsjf. I'm your boyfriend not your mother.

Provoking confrontations: This one I really don't understand. If we are out, and you decide to introduce me to John Q dirtbag who clearly has a crazy crush on you, proceed to let him put his hands all over you, while telling me that the dirty shit he says to you is just "playing games" all the while he's putting his back to me so he can talk to you.... why are you so surprised if I hit the kid? What else did you really think was going to happen? You knew full well what was coming, you engineered everything! if Mr. Q dirtbag really is a good friend of yours and you think he has redeeming qualities for all the time he spends hitting on you, why would you introduce him to your boyfriend? Talk to him on your own time, the hell should I have to watch that for? No matter your feelings on the subject I'm not going to go bump and grind with some random chick and give her my number while I'm out with you, thats disrespectful.

Alcohol / drugs: They are fun. They stop being fun when you forget they are for recreational use, not every day use.

Cigs: ew. really?

Respect: I get that you will bitch to your girlfriends, guy friends, therapist, mom, dog, gyno, we won't always see eye to eye. But even if I'm unhappy with how you are conducting yourself I'll never drop to being disrespectful to you, and I expect the same from you. If I'm with a bunch of people and they want to talk shit about you, fuck that, no how no way. If your friends don't like me, thats fine. But sitting with them and letting them go on and on about how much they think I suck and not telling them to talk about something else? or even worse, airing our personal stuff, airing stories I might have told you in confidence, details about shit that matters to me to your friends just so you can have a good bitch session? Jump off a birdge!

Example: You, you know who you are, I'll never be able to enter politics (not that I was considering it..) based on all the stories you seem to have told EVERYONE. I've heard them from peoples parents! Yes - We get in and out of trouble. Theres no need to go tell the world how. You've told me plenty of embarrassing stories about yourself and your friends and I don't run around telling everyone. No, they are not going to keep it to themselves, no matter what they told you. Don't be ignorant.

So really, I don't get it. Every girl on here says how normal they are, how they want a good guy, every hot girl talks about how she hates most girls because they are crazy.... and then turns out to be just like them.


Right, now:

1. If you are feeling indignant, think I have disrespected women on the whole, its probably because you do a lot of the things I'm talking about here.

2. If you think I'm a crusty mean woman hater, nothing farther from the truth. I'd just really like to understand why I meet these great, awesome, intelligent, driven, beautiful girls who a few months later crack and start acting nuts.

3. Yes, I'm the common factor in my relationships. Bravo, sherlock. The other common factor is that I date very hot girls.

4. Referring to number 2, I'd like to meet a girl that has already gone through her nuts phase.

I've developed a theory, that every girl needs to be crazy for a while, then realize that she is crazy, and then needs 5 more relationships to iron out said crazy.

I would very much like to meet someone that has ironed out at least MOST of the crazy.

Ideally:

You are hot. Lets be serious, attraction is big, and if you are a 1200lb heffer, but think its not your fault, you probably have some of that crazy we have been talking about. Now, hot does not mean stick skinny. If if suddenly find out you are puking up the really nice meals I cook for you, or the food from the awesome restaurants we go too, I will be very mad.

lets talk about hot. Hot is individual to every girl, Hot is an overarching mix of confidence, personality, and style. I like exotic looking people, with curves. If you have the body of a 12 year old boy you could probably find a lot of interested parties on craigslist, but not this one.

Smart. I'm college educated, will soon have a law degree, have run a company or two, have visited many countries, speak a few languages and read a lot of the news. You've probably noticed, that doesn't mean I can spell or use proper grammar. Smart isn't your GPA, just like you aren't your SAT scores. I move through a variety of social circles and would prefer someone who can hold interesting informed conversations at all levels of the social ladder. Please know something about a lot of things, recognize no one knows everything about anything, and try not to embarrass yourself. Its better to let someone think you're a fool, than prove them right by opening your mouth.

Not crazy.

Really, thats it. Smart, hot, not crazy. I'm open to the rest.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 8 May 2009, 03:07
Outofcontrol's Avatar
Outofcontrol Outofcontrol is offline
hippies beware
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 1,184
Bravo!
__________________
MOLON LABE

"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish."
--Mark Twain

"All that we see is perspective, not fact...All that we hear is opinion, not truth."
--Marcus Aurelius

"The time you spent typing and formatting this post would have been better spent hitting yourself in the face with a hammer."
--Jimbo

Wise old man--"That woman was SEXY!"
Young lad--"She's out of my league."
Wise old man--"Look...let women figure out why they wont sleep with you...dont do it for them."
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 8 May 2009, 03:19
Massgrunt's Avatar
Massgrunt Massgrunt is offline
Violent Social Worker
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Day shift.
Posts: 11,415
A pointed exercise in futility.
__________________
"The real problem was being able to stick it out, to sit in an office under the orders of a wee man in a dark gray suit and look out of the window and recall the bush country, the waving palms, the smell of sweat and cordite, the grunts of the men hauling jeeps over the river crossings, the copper-tasting fears just before the attack, and the wild, cruel joy of being alive afterward. To remember, and then go back to the ledgers and the commuter train, that was impossible. He knew he would eat his heart out if it ever came to that."

- "The Dogs of War" by Frederick Forsyth
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 8 May 2009, 05:49
ET1/ss nuke's Avatar
ET1/ss nuke ET1/ss nuke is offline
If you don't smell ozone, the radiation won't kill you before next week.
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: summerville, sc
Posts: 4,680
you're doing it wrong

All women are crazy. The hot ones just think they can get away with revealing their craziness earlier in the relationship and still get away with it.
__________________
"I don't know whether the world is run by smart men who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Twain

"I agree that his intentions are suspect, and that he likely needs to die...." - SOTB

"Just a lone patriot acting alone at a fulcrum point, ideally in a deniable fashion. A perpetrator of accidents." - Magician
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 8 May 2009, 05:57
HARLEYMAN HARLEYMAN is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: va
Posts: 92
as the old saying goes. " no matter how hot you think she is, there is a guy somewhere who is tired of her shit"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 8 May 2009, 07:13
FinsUp's Avatar
FinsUp FinsUp is offline
Aww F**K it
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Google
Posts: 2,426
Quote:
Originally Posted by ET1/ss nuke View Post
All women are crazy. The hot ones just think they can get away with revealing their craziness earlier in the relationship and still get away with it.
All women are crazy, some more than others
__________________
One of the fundamental truths of the universe is that there isn't anything that cannot be improved with the addition of pirates, ninjas, midgets or monkeys.

For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. Romans 13:4
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 8 May 2009, 07:14
The Fat Guy's Avatar
The Fat Guy The Fat Guy is offline
The Sagacious One
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Pushing string down the hall
Posts: 12,493
Quote:
Originally Posted by HARLEYMAN View Post
as the old saying goes. " no matter how hot you think she is, there is a guy somewhere who is tired of her shit"
Amen, Brother... AMEN!
__________________
No one will take better care of us, than us: Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 8 May 2009, 07:48
bugeater's Avatar
bugeater bugeater is offline
jump fiend
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Southern AZ
Posts: 925
Per Billy Currington...

God is great, beer is good...and people (women in particular) are crazy
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 8 May 2009, 09:25
BOFH's Avatar
BOFH BOFH is offline
I aim to misbehave
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: \\Gibson\garbage
Posts: 4,146
I gave up on finding a non-crazy one. So I saddled myself with one who embodies damn near everything that guy was ranting about. Then I volunteered to work the midshift. Yeah...I may be a bit evil...or just fed up...
__________________
"...for those who man the battle line, the bugle whispers low, and freedom has a taste and price the protected never know..."


While true:
Continue
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 8 May 2009, 09:41
ex ex is offline
Baggage handler
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 932
I'm a chick, but I happen to agree with this guy - of course I'm a little older, so maybe that means I've just 'worked my crazy out' by now.

Anyway, I'm going to send this little missive to my very cute 17 year old daughter; even if she only absorbs 25% of it, she'll be saved a bit of heartache in the future.



btw, you guys are just as crazy as women.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 8 May 2009, 09:44
Massgrunt's Avatar
Massgrunt Massgrunt is offline
Violent Social Worker
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Day shift.
Posts: 11,415
Quote:
Originally Posted by ex View Post


btw, you guys are just as crazy as women.
I disagree... we may be stupid and do craven awful things, but with your average dude it's always for a simple reason. It may be a BAD reason, but it will be easy to understand.
__________________
"The real problem was being able to stick it out, to sit in an office under the orders of a wee man in a dark gray suit and look out of the window and recall the bush country, the waving palms, the smell of sweat and cordite, the grunts of the men hauling jeeps over the river crossings, the copper-tasting fears just before the attack, and the wild, cruel joy of being alive afterward. To remember, and then go back to the ledgers and the commuter train, that was impossible. He knew he would eat his heart out if it ever came to that."

- "The Dogs of War" by Frederick Forsyth
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 8 May 2009, 10:26
ex ex is offline
Baggage handler
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 932
Quote:
Originally Posted by Massgrunt View Post
I disagree... we may be stupid and do craven awful things, but with your average dude it's always for a simple reason. It may be a BAD reason, but it will be easy to understand.
LOL Okay, I'll give you that. But we aren't that hard to understand, either.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 8 May 2009, 10:35
RGR.Montcalm's Avatar
RGR.Montcalm RGR.Montcalm is offline
Been There Done That
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Clearing fields of fire
Posts: 10,286
Quote:
Originally Posted by ex View Post
LOL Okay, I'll give you that. But we aren't that hard to understand, either.

Let me guess:

"If you just do everything i say to do my way, with me critiquing you along the way, even though i can't do it myself, then we'll be JUST fine!"
__________________
Shallow men believe in luck; strong men believe in cause and effect
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 8 May 2009, 11:30
BOFH's Avatar
BOFH BOFH is offline
I aim to misbehave
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: \\Gibson\garbage
Posts: 4,146
Quote:
Originally Posted by RGR.Montcalm View Post
Let me guess:

"If you just do everything i say to do my way, with me critiquing you along the way, even though i can't do it myself, then we'll be JUST fine!"

Sounds like something I hear from the wife every single day.
__________________
"...for those who man the battle line, the bugle whispers low, and freedom has a taste and price the protected never know..."


While true:
Continue
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 8 May 2009, 11:58
Jong Jong is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Fantasy Land
Posts: 1,156
Quote:
Originally Posted by RGR.Montcalm View Post
Let me guess:

"If you just do everything i say to do my way, with me critiquing you along the way, even though i can't do it myself, then we'll be JUST fine!"
Ding, Ding, Ding, we have a winner!!!!
__________________
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

Winston Churchill
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 8 May 2009, 12:58
ex ex is offline
Baggage handler
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 932
Quote:
Originally Posted by RGR.Montcalm View Post
Let me guess:

"If you just do everything i say to do my way, with me critiquing you along the way, even though i can't do it myself, then we'll be JUST fine!"
No. But a good start would be to not put words in my mouth.





bracing for the double entendre jokes....
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 8 May 2009, 13:57
Scratchy's Avatar
Scratchy Scratchy is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North
Posts: 751
I need to get that letter framed.
__________________
Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.
-Ausonius
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 8 May 2009, 14:14
texasgirl texasgirl is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 10
Don't you just hate that, ex. In fact, it drives me...crazy. See guys, it's all your fault.

Newsflash: perfect women do not exist!! You're lucky to get two out of three, so using the above criteria of hot, smart, and not crazy your choices are:

1) airhead dingbat
2) psycho crazy
3) Miss "she's got a great personality"

c'mon guys, two out of three ain't bad...
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 8 May 2009, 14:23
Scratchy's Avatar
Scratchy Scratchy is offline
Confirmed User
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North
Posts: 751
I think the original writer did state that he was willing to deal with a girl who has dulled her crazy.. we all know it doesn't go away.
__________________
Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.
-Ausonius
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 8 May 2009, 14:42
BOFH's Avatar
BOFH BOFH is offline
I aim to misbehave
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: \\Gibson\garbage
Posts: 4,146
As I stated in the "perfect girl," thread...I gave up on trying to find perfection. The current wife is absolutely, completely and totally batshit crazy...but she's college educated, loyal, and HOT!
I'll deal with crazy...keeps things interesting, anyway...
__________________
"...for those who man the battle line, the bugle whispers low, and freedom has a taste and price the protected never know..."


While true:
Continue
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Our new posting rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 15:07.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Socnet.com All Rights Reserved
SOCNET